


Amneart

by Shaladaze



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Amnesia, Conspiracy Theories, Don't Like Don't Read, Panic Attacks, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, The Unversed (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas has amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-03-19 21:10:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaladaze/pseuds/Shaladaze
Summary: Vanitas lost his memory. He doesn’t remember anything and the blonde boy in front of him is holding out his hand to him. Even though the people behind him are pointing weapons in his direction. Slowly, he reaches out his own gloved hand and takes it.Maybe this was right after all.





	1. Existing

It’s weird here. He feels like he knows the area but can’t place it.

His feet move over the dirt, wandering aimlessly through the winding paths surrounding him. Colorful things, he isn’t sure what they are, stick up from the ground in all directions, never reaching higher than his chest. Their covered in dust and sand, seemingly forgotten.

He feels an odd sense of sadness as he walks, like these things deserve to be mourned but he doesn’t know why.

He reaches his hand out to brush lightly over one of the many things in the ground as he walks. Touching the few immediately in his path, wondering what they were and why there were so many of them.

Right, that was what he was doing. Trying to figure out where he was.

A small but gentle tug in his chest has him turning to follow it. His feet guide him to a large pathway, going either left or right. Looking both directions he decides on going right. Keeping close to the edge so he could continue to brush past the things. It was strange how some of them gave him a deeper sense of sadness than others but he couldn’t really think about it.

He has no idea how long he is walking before a shout has him snapping his head up instead of looking down.

In front of him stands a large group of people, all of them are holding similar things to what are in the ground, though their much cleaner. All of them are pointed at him.

He’s not sure what is happening but he feels a little afraid. Where they going to hurt him?

“I thought you died!”

His eyes fix on the woman who had spoken. Her blue hair making her stick out a little more than the rest.

He stands there, silent, he isn’t sure what they want from him. He was simply walking around. Was he not supposed to do that? They all looked pretty mad.

Slowly, a blonde boy walks forward. He has his own colorful thing behind him, as if to hide it.

“Vanitas. What are you doing here?”

His voice sparks something in his mind. He isn’t sure what it is but he feels like he knows this boy somehow. The boy separates from the group, despite their protests behind him.

“Vanitas?”

He tilts his head at the other boy. Why did he keep saying that? Why did it sound familiar? He suddenly felt very vulnerable, like something was missing.

The boy stands straighter, the thing disappears from his hand and while the group behind him tense, he can’t help but relax a little.

“Hey. Are you ok?”

Wasn’t that a funny question. He wasn’t hurt as far as he could tell. He lifts his hand to look at it, the glove clenching and unclenching, just to double check. No, he was fine.

“Vanitas?”

He looks back up, the boy is closer now, almost close enough to touch. He looks surprised by something but he ignores it. For some reason he isn’t bothered by being this close to this person.

“Do you… remember who I am?”

The group behind him is shifting around, he can’t see them past the boy but it makes him feel anxious. Thinking back to the question, he frowns. No, he doesn’t. But he feels like he should.

The boy gives him a strange look before resting a hand on his own chest, “My name is Ventus but everyone calls me Ven.”

He nods idly, it sounded so familiar yet so new.

The boys hand falls, “Do you know where you are?”

This time he shakes his head slowly, maybe the blonde would tell him.

“Do you remember your name?”

A little put out for not getting an answer to the last question he shakes his head again.

“Do you remember anything?”

Once more he shakes his head, his frustration growing with every unanswered question, even if he wasn’t the one asking them.

The boy in front of him gives him a sad look, almost like he wanted to cry or scream. Instead he smiles sadly, “We’re in the Keyblade Graveyard. Your name is Vanitas. Do you have any questions for me?”

He looks down, then to his right, where the colorful things were. They must be Keyblades, and he was Vanitas Strange, how right both sounded. He shakes his head, he didn’t have any questions.

The boy, Ventus, leans forward a little, “Do you want to come with us?”

There are loud shouts of protest behind him but are quickly silenced by a second boy walking over to them. His Keyblade is nowhere to be seen.

“I think we could help you if you do come with us.”

Ventus looks hopeful at him, but he focuses on this new boy. He feels like he should know him too.

“My name is Sora! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Sora puts his hands behind his head with a large grin on his face. For whatever reason, it irritates him a little.

They stare at ‘Vanitas’ expectantly before he realizes their waiting for an answer. Taking a moment to think, he shrugs his shoulders. He doesn’t really have anything better to do right?

They both smile so wildly at him that it makes him take a small step back. It was weird seeing all those teeth.

He follows them back to the group from earlier, most of their Keyblades are gone but a few still have theirs in hand. He ignores them.

“We’re going to take him with us to Master Yen Sid’s tower. Ok?”

A few have visible protests but a silver haired boy walks forward with a stern look on his face, “Are you sure?”

The boy, Sora, nods his head. They wait a few moments in silence before the other boy nods and smiles.

“If you say so. Let’s go then.”

‘Vanitas’ stays back, not quite sure what is happening. He feels like he shouldn’t be around these people, like they would hurt him. From the look on the blue haired woman’s face he didn’t doubt it.

Ventus moves a little to the side, blocking his view of about half of the group, the blue haired lady included and while he feels better not having to see their angry looks, he isn’t happy not being able to see them either.

“Ven, I don’t think this is a good idea. In fact, I disagree with this on every level. We can’t take him with us, he’s the enemy.”

‘Vanitas’ looks back to the wide stretch of Keyblades, he doesn’t want to listen to that woman speak, it makes him feel afraid. However, that doesn’t stop him from thinking about what he did hear. An enemy? To them? He didn’t even know who they were. Were they bad guys? Or was he the bad guy.

Looking down he takes note of how he is dressed, yeah, he must be the bad guy, since all of them were colorful and he wasn’t. He looks back up. How could he be a bad guy if he doesn’t remember being one? He didn’t even really feel angry at these people, just confused. He feels… something, when he looks at Ventus, he isn’t sure what yet but it’s there. Like he doesn’t want to leave him. If he’s a bad guy though, maybe he should.

The rest of the world fades as his mind wanders. Maybe he would figure it out if he thought a little more? Or perhaps he had someone who knew what had happened to him waiting somewhere in this place, the Graveyard, who could tell him what was going on.

He doesn’t notice the figure in front of him until he bumps into them. Focusing on them he looks upward to see a tall figure blocking his view.

“Where are you going?”

Vanitas, now registering that’s his name, looks around himself. He was standing a bit away from the rest of the group, all of them staring at them with a variety of faces. Confused, he lifts his hand to his head only to hit something on the way up. Pulling his hand back he tries again only to get the same result.

“You ok kid?”

Deciding to ignore the red head he lifts his other hand to pull on the thing blocking his hand and is surprised when ‘it’ comes off easily. He hears a gasp above him and he looks up slowly at the man to see what was wrong.

“This… I have too many questions now.”

Frowning the smaller boy looks at what’s in his hands and turns it over a few times, he isn’t sure why he was wearing it but he felt better with it off now. A hand lands on his shoulder.

“Vanitas?”

He turns his head slightly to see the blonde from earlier, blue eyes seeming to stare into his heart.

“What’s going on?”

This time he just shrugs, he has no idea what’s going on. He’s here, at the Keyblade Graveyard. No memories and a slight pounding in his head now that the ‘thing’ was off.

Frowning he places his hand on the spot that hurts only to wince and pull it away after he touches it. Maybe that’s why he had this ‘thing’ on his head, to stop the pain.

The boy moves closer, inspecting the spot he had just touched before asking with a slight panic in his tone, “Is that from our fight?”

Vanitas makes eye contact with the kid and sees his eyes wide with a mix of surprise and worry. He must be waiting for a response. He gives a shrug.

“What do you mean you don’t- oh,” He sighs, “Then you really don’t remember, huh?” 

The taller one speaks up, “You mean to tell me, short, dark and definitely not Sora,” A gloved finger is pointed at him, “Doesn’t remember anything at all?”

The blonde glances up at the other person with a weird look, “I guess so? This wouldn’t be the first time.”

The redhead groans loudly and runs his hand down his face, “I feel like this is some sort of health condition between all of you that needs to be looked at. Because seriously? None of you have anything memorized.”

A snicker is heard behind him and Vanitas whips his head around, having forgotten about the rest of the group. He is met with more shocked looks and a few bordering on panic.

Sora walks towards them with a sad smile, “Not all of us have memory issues Axel.”

The taller one points at Sora, “It’s Lea. First of all. Second of all, you forgot stuff too! I don’t want to hear it from you!”

Vanitas tunes them out again, his head hurts and he’s too confused to figure out what’s going on. He shoves the thing back on his head and is glad it makes the noise outside a little quieter, it helps. He also noted how everything looks darker with it on.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks to the side, Ventus has a worried look on his face again and he isn’t sure why he feels ashamed of that fact. He watches his mouth move but the words don’t process. Deciding he’s had enough he pulls away from the hand and the person in front of him. He keeps his hands on his head and closes his eyes, stopping only when he feels one of the Keyblades at his back, and sinks to a sitting position.

He feels something curl and flick within his senses but he ignores it. It feels natural, like it should be there. It moves closer, something radiating from it that makes Vanitas reach out his hands and hold it close instead. It’s small and thin, jerking slightly in his hold like it can’t control it. He understands that feeling.

Slowly the buzzing fades away, letting back in the slight panicked words of who he now recognizes as Ventus’, sink in.

“Vanitas? Please, we didn’t mean to overwhelm you. I’m sorry. It’s ok. No one is going to hurt you.”

He peels his eyes open but keeps them trained on the small thing in his lap. The word ‘flood’ floats to mind as it looks back at him. It’s small twitching movements didn’t bother him and he assumes this is what was crawling around in his senses earlier.

“Please, look at me. I’m sorry, we didn’t mean it. Look, I can try to help you make your head feel better, would that be ok?”

Finally, he looks up. A few people are standing in front of him now and he can feel a few behind him. He must have been sitting for a while. He nods his head despite the fact he isn’t quite sure what is happening around him.

Ventus moves forward, pausing only for a second to make sure it was still ok before removing the ‘thing’ from his head again. He moves his hair around a little before a voice that he doesn’t recognize speaks up.

“Gawrsh, I don’t think a healing spell is a good idea in this case.”

Something moves closer, he thinks it’s a person but it looks nothing like the rest.

Sora speaks up now, “Well, then what do you suggest Goofy? We don’t usually get head wounds like this bad during battle. Especially since we use cure all the time.”

The thing puts a glove under its mouth and hums, “Well, we need to stop the bleeding, but it needs to be looked at by a doctor before we can determine what to do next.”

Ventus nods, “We’re going to take you to someone who can help make the pain go away.”

Sora reaches a hand out in his direction, unsure what it’s for, he holds out his own hand. The brunettes hand wraps around his own before pulling, a little startled, Vanitas struggles to his feet once more.

“Alright! I think Yen Sid might be a doctor but I kinda want to make sure first, where else can we take him?”

The tall one from earlier tilts his head, “I might know a few but their more scientists than anything.”

Their words fade away again as a pang of pain radiates through Vanitas’ head. Reaching up to the spot that hurt, he tries to focus on standing though the world tilts anyway. His mind clouds up making complicated thought impossible. He hardly notices the arms around him as the world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through and did some small edits. It doesn't really affect the story.


	2. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did some minor editing to make it smother to read.

Vanitas wakes up somewhere he doesn’t know. Which isn’t really a new development but it still takes him a moment to reorient himself.

He rolls over onto his side, the action shifts around the blankets that are on top of him, why he knew what those were and not what a Keyblade was didn’t make any sense but he ignores it.

He sits up slowly, the phantom pain in his head is there but when he touches the spot it doesn’t hurt. He looks around the room, there isn’t much but he can see a light coming from the wide open door. He stands, the coat around his shoulders relaxing from their previously bunched up state making him feel a little better. Walking through the door, Vanitas looks to where the light is coming from to see a single light in the hallway. It’s glow is soft, creating enough light to see but not disturb. He finds it oddly comforting.

He gets closer to the light, though not too close because it’s slightly out of his reach on the wall. As he moves, dark shadows shift and move around him, almost alive in a way that prickles something on the back of his neck. He watches the small flickers as the light moves around. He knows what these are called, it’s on the tip of his tongue but he can’t pull it out of his head.

A sudden swishing noise startles him so bad he stumbles away from it. Looking quickly in the direction of the noise he tries to calm himself down enough to see who it was.

The woman with blue hair stands a short distance from him, her Keyblade in hand at a ready stance. He remembers she had been one of the people to not like him.

After a moment of staring she seems to relax her stance. Her Keyblade is persistent, “What are you doing?”

It takes him a second to understand but finally he relaxes his shoulders. 

If ShE hAd WaNtEd To HuRt HiM sHe WoUlD hAvE

He shakes his head, he doesn’t know where that came from but it was probably good advice. He looks back at the light on the wall then to her, then back again. He isn’t sure how to ask what it’s called.

“Whatever kind of game you’re trying to play, I don’t want any part of it.”

He eyes fix back on her once more. Game? Was he playing a game? What was she talking about?

Something about his face must have bothered her, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about. People like you don’t just forget everything you’ve done.”

ShE’s RiGhT

But what did he do? Was it what they had been talking about back at the Graveyard? ‘The enemy’.

At his continued silence she gets more tense, almost on instinct he tenses to match her. Something about her stance made him antsy, like he was waiting for her to… to what?

Her eyes are sharp, taking in his every movement. He feels pinned to the spot and can’t find a way out. Minor panic starts to set in, that what this was right? Panic?

Her eyebrows crease with her frown and for a moment he doesn’t see her. He sees the shadows reaching for him, he can see their claws getting ready to rake through him like he’s butter. These feel dangerous. Suddenly, the small light in the hallway isn’t enough. It won’t chase away the shadows with how small it is.

It WoUlD nEvEr Be EnOuGh!

Fear overtakes his being with such violence he can’t think. He closes his eyes, willing away the monsters he knew were coming for him, but it only makes it worse because now he can’t see them, he won’t know when they attack. He won’t know when to move.

aLwAyS kEeP aN eYe On ThE eNeMy¡

Flinging his eyes open, he backs away before turning and running at full speed. He runs as far away as he can from the shadows that race after him, their shrieks only making him run faster.

He reaches a staircase and jumps over the bars in his way, not even caring when he drops farther than he had expected because at least there’s more light down here. Once his feet hit the floor he can feel pain shoot up through his legs, momentarily slowing him down. He ignores it when the shrieking gets louder again.

Dread and fear are heavy in his mind as he makes a break for the light. If he can just make it to the next doorway he could escape the shadows.

Just as he’s about to turn the corner, he slams bodily into something firm. Falling to his butt, his panic reaches a raging high. Making something deep within him freak out and rear its ugly head.

Getting up he tries to move past the thing he had hit to get into the room, he can feel the shadows clawing at him, wrapping him in its arms, stop him from reaching the light. That ugly thing from before roars and in a moment of sheer desperation he reaches for it, pulling on it with such force it makes his head spin.

He swings his arm back, feeling it connect with the shadow, it’s loud scream is hard to ignore but he does anyway to get away from it. He finally crashed into the room, heading for the brightest light he could find and hiding behind it. It hurts a little to be near since it was so bright but if it would make the shadows go away it would be worth all of the minor pain.

He freezes where he is, curled up behind the light, breathing heavily as he tries to come up with a plan in case the shadow still follows him. Shadows hated light. Light destroys them so maybe he would be safe here.

Something lands on his shoulder, making him jump so hard it scares him. He swings his arm around more on instinct than anything but this time when it connects, it’s with a light. He can’t focus, it’s too bright here for him to see. Maybe this was a bad idea, if he was in the shadows with a little light at least he could see something.

His breathing quickly builds up and it takes him a moment to register that the lights weren’t lights at all. His eyes fly around him trying to understand what’s happening when he feels something covering his head. He tries to jerk back but it’s forced down before he can get away. Almost immediately he feels safer, he has no idea why but the light wasn’t blinding him anymore.

He reaches up and grips the thing with one hand. It’s the same ‘thin’g he had on in the Graveyard. He closes his eyes, trying to take in deeper breaths since his chest hurt so much.

Slowly, words filter though the cotton in his ears, “There you go. Deep breathes. In, and out. You’re safe Vanitas. We won’t hurt you.”

He feels himself shaking as he calms down. The shadows are gone, the light is soft, but bright. It’s oddly calming, like the thing in the hallway had been.

“Vanitas? Hey, you had a panic attack. Can you hear me?”

Panic attack, well it certainly felt like an attack.

“Are you cold? You’re shivering.” The blonde boy reaches for something before a blanket is wrapped around his shoulders. The shaking doesn’t stop, if anything they get worse but it makes him feel better.

Other words are making their way to him, he tries to focus on them, bring more of the world back into his unstable mind.

“I’m fine, really. If you think I can’t take a hit from a Keyblade by now, you're ridiculous.”

“That’s not the point Axel!”

“Please don’t argue, we might make the situation worse by fighting.”

“He got hit with a Keyblade and is trying to brush it off like it didn’t happen! What do you mean don’t argue?!”

Ok, on second thought maybe he was better where he was. He tries to lift his second hand but he feels a weight in it that hadn’t been there before. Looking down at it he tries to make sense of what he’s seeing.

In his hand is a Keyblade, he knows that much from his conversation with Ventus. It’s white and all things considered, extremely fancy looking, with its wings and heart shapes. The name ‘Lost Memories’ drifts into his mind and something settles down deep inside him.

Vanitas looks up to see the blonde looking weirdly at the Keyblade in his hands. He isn’t sure why, but it makes him uneasy to see. The teen seems to notice he’s looking at him and smiles shyly, “You feeling any better?”

Slowly, he nods his head. He hasn’t quite gotten rid of all of the fog but it was mostly gone now. He lets go of the Keyblade, not quite sure how to get it to go away like everyone else did. To his surprise, it disappears after a moment.

Words float to him again.

“I told you he was too dangerous to bring back. We have to get him out of here.”

“And do what? If he’s really that bad wouldn’t it be easier to keep him here?”

“Fine. Then we should at least keep a better eye on him.”

“You want to lock him up?”

At that last line the room goes quiet. He was surprised anyone had heard the soft voice.

“We wouldn't be locking him up-“

“But he wouldn’t be able to leave.”

He finally decides to locate the voices, he’s recognized one of them at the blue haired lady from before but the other one was completely new. As he looks around he notices he's behind a brown haired boy, his light is bright and he thinks this is who he was hiding behind.

“He would be able to leave his room-“

“Only if he’s being watched.”

Refocusing on his task he finally finds the one who’s been talking. It’s a young girl with short blonde hair. She wears a white dress and is holding something in her arms.

The blonde boy that’s not Ventus takes a step towards her, “Naminé, she doesn’t know your story.”

The girl is already shrinking in on herself, she doesn’t say anything else before she turns and leaves the room. No one stops her.

Feeling oddly frustrated with all of them for letting her leave, it takes a moment before he realizes why.

The shadows were still out there.

Bolting after her from his spot, he easily slips past all of the lights who are suddenly on high alert. He slides out into the hallway and reaches for her arm, thinking better of it at the last second when she flinches away from him.

She stares at him with wide eyes, traces of fear making his chest ache. He holds up his hands, trying to slow his racing heart. He could tell she was a light but it wasn’t bright like the other boys, if the shadows got her, they couLd SwAlLoW HeR WhOlE.

She seems to relax at his gesture, “Um… can I help you?”

He shakes his head, dropping his hands. How could he make her understand? The longer they stood out there the less time they had to escape. He makes a few aborted movements, he wasn’t sure how to communicate with these people. Finally he settles on looking to the room, where he notices all of the lights are staring, to her, to the room and back to her. He had tried this earlier with the blue haired woman but it hadn’t worked. Maybe this time…

She tilts her head, all fear replaced with confusion, “I don’t understand.”

He feels the shadows reaching again, making him panic a little more with each passing second. Not knowing what to do, he takes off the thing on his head and places it on the girl. It’s a little too big for her but she doesn’t struggle as he does it. He counts that as a win before grabbing her hand and gently pulling her to the room. It had worked on him so maybe it would work on her.

She goes with him reluctantly and he isn’t sure how to make it better but once she’s back into the room he relaxes.

“What was that?”

He turns to look at the voice, only to see the really talk red one bending over to look him in the eye.

Confused, he tilts his head. How could they not tell it was dangerous outside the room?

Ventus moves between them, raising a hand, “Lea, I’m not sure what’s going on but interrogating him won’t help.”

The taller one stands up straight, “I’m so lost.”

Vanitas ignores them and turns back to the girl, he’s still holding her hand and with a jolt, he lets go. She doesn’t move away from him.

“Look, all I know is he’s panicking. Unlike him, I can only get glimpses of how he feels and only if it’s a strong emotion. It’s how I knew he was having a panic attack. But other than that I don’t know what causes it.” The blonde turns to him, “Vanitas, I need you to talk to me. You’re scaring everyone and I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s happening.”

He feels himself deflate, he doesn’t know what Ventus means. He didn’t know how to communicate. He could understand what they were saying but not how to talk back. His hands form into fists as his frustration grows. How could he keep everyone from leaving the room?

“Hey, Hey, don't-“ Ventus sighs heavily, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to frustrate you but can you at least help me understand what is going on right now?”

He takes a moment to think. How could he tell them about the shadows when they don’t have any?

!MaKe ThEm UnDeRsTaNd¡

He feels something creep up his spine, he doesn’t know what it is but a weight settles on his shoulder suddenly enough that he tilts to the side. When he looks, it’s to see a flood perched on his shoulder, it’s antenna flicking around as it jerks this way and that. Remembering how it had helped him calm down earlier, he grabs it and gives it to the blonde who still has his thing on her head. Making sure she has a good grip on it before turning back to Ventus. The look of surprise on his face makes him pause.

Looking back at the girl he takes note of how uncomfortable she moves. Maybe one wasn’t enough? Did he have more than one? As if to answer his own question, two more appear on his shoulders. Taking them both, he also gives them to the girl. Three should be enough right?

At her continued uncomfortableness he tries to think of a good number that might be good. If three wasn’t enough maybe three threes would be. More appear around him and he starts to think maybe he could just make as many as he wants without stopping. He picks them all up two at a time, piling them onto the girl. Eventually there’s just so many of them she can’t hold them, but they have piled on top of each other to almost completely cover her.

He frowns when she seems to freeze in place, something he recognized as fear. Why didn’t she seem better? Did she need something bigger? Coming to a conclusion he reaches out to her and kind of flops onto the pile. He couldn’t think of anything bigger than a person except maybe that tall red guy.

A startled laugh has him slipping down into the pile. His top half disappearing inside the flood mound for a moment before he comes back out.

Looking up, he sees the girl laughing, she had lifted the thing on her head to reveal a large smile lighting up her face with what he thinks is happy. He smiles up at her, maybe she did just need something bigger. Her laugh gets louder and it takes him a moment to realize she’s trying to cover her mouth.

She leans forward, hugging as many of the unversed as she can to herself. Her smile never leaving, “You’re a dork, just like Sora, aren't you?”

He tilts his head, not sure what that meant.

“Hey! What do you mean just like me? I’m nothing like that!”

He turns to see the brown haired light from earlier. Sora, he remembers now, has his hands on his hips. His lips are twisted weird making him look quite the funny picture.

Vanitas smiles wide at the light, if he was acting light Sora, a light, maybe the shadows would leave him alone.

Ventus walks over to them, “Well you calmed down fast.”

Looking up at the blonde he feels a weird happiness next to his own, but different. His was more relief while this other one was calm and content. He thinks it might be the blondes but he isn’t sure how he knows that.

The girl Naminé taps him on the shoulder. He looks to her, she is holding his thing over his head with a strong smile, “Would you like your helmet back?”

He tilts his head, helmet? Is that what it was? He shrugs his shoulders and takes it from her, he isn’t quite sure what to do with the thing so he climbs off of the pile to set it on the ground.

When he turns back, it’s to see the woman standing in front of him, her frown is deep and her displeasure seems to leak off of her, “I’m tired of your games. Whatever this is, stop it. Get rid of these ‘THINGS’ or I will.”

He isn’t sure what she’s talking about but he doesn’t like it. A few of the unversed move to his side, flicking this way and that. He thinks they might be trying to protect him but he isn’t sure how.

The action seems to make her angrier, he recognizes her micro-movements, the small tells of her getting ready to attack, ah, that must have been what he was trying to remember realier. It’s enough that he moves out of habit. Before anyone can blink, he’s behind her. Positioned in the air just high enough that if he were to swing his hand it would be directly at her head.

Instead, he lands with a thud and backs away. Tripping on the pile and falling into it so most of him is covered in the unversed. He can hear sounds of people yelling above and around him but it’s all muted.

He doesn’t move when a hand touches his face, but the floods do. They slide to the side, revealing Naminé crouched down with her hand moving away from his face now that she can see him.

“Are you ok?”

Slowly, he sits up. He isn’t sure what was going on but these people-lights were starting to confuse and worry him. He didn’t like being around them anymore.

She doesn’t reach for him as he pulls away. She doesn’t say anything as pain rips through his chest and makes him curl in on himself. He doesn’t see her worried face as he disappears from the room, taking all the unversed with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of these are going to be self indulgent.
> 
> Just so you know ahead of time.


	3. Pain

Vanitas hides. He has no idea where he is but nothing's coming after him and it’s safe so that’s all the matters. In his lap is an unversed, this one was named ‘Mandrake’, he likes its name.

It’s leafs rest over his head, almost in a ‘hug’ kind of way. He’s surprised by how warm the gesture was. He was even more surprised to find that it was soft to the touch and not hard, it looked like it should be hard.

It shudders a little, small white specks fly out around them. On his next breath he sneezes, his isn’t sure why but his nose itches now. Sneezing again, louder this time, he has to let go of the Mandrake in order to cover his nose and mouth as he’s assaulted by a series of progressively louder sneezes.

By the time he stops, his head is hurting, his nose won’t take in air and his throat is itching like crazy. The Mandrake sits next to him, crouched low on its tiny green feet after having been jostled out of his lap. It takes him a moment to realize that the white stuff is pollen and that its effects were to cause confusion when inhaled.

StUpId YoU kNeW tHaT!

He sneezes again, the noise echoing a little around the room. Vanitas rubs his eyes with his palms, trying to make the feeling of them being full go away. It doesn’t work, if anything, it just gets worse.

The door to the room swings open, he tries to look up to see who it is but the light coming in makes them hurt. Instead he just starts coughing, everything itches so much now! Another sneeze is torn out of him and he barely registers the aero being cast somewhere off to the side.

Someone touches his shoulder softly. He can’t really stop them because he’s too busy trying to gouge out his eyes.

“Esuna!”

Light encases him for a moment before fading and suddenly he doesn’t itch anymore. His eyes open fully to see a large man kneeling in front of him, his limbs curled up as if to look smaller.

“Are you alright?”

Vanitas flinches slightly at his voice, something about it was triggering his instinct to run but he ignores it. He nods instead before looking around confused.

Off to the other corner of the room sits the Mandrake, or he guesses stands? It’s moving weird with a spiral of shifting light over its head and he’s not sure why it’s moving so weird like that or how it got so far away.

The man in front of him scratches the back of his head, “Sorry, I had to daze it because it wouldn’t stop moving. All those spores can cause confusion and I guess you react differently to it than we do because it’s yours.”

Vanitas looks at him, tiling his head.

“I’m… not sure what that means. Are you trying to ask me a question or are you just lost?”

Taking a moment to think about it he stands and walks over to the Mandrake. Gently picking it up despite the protests coming from the man behind him.

“I wouldn’t do that-“

The spinning circle disappears and it twists a little until it can lay its leafs on his head. Washed with warmth, it melts away in his arms into a thick black smoke. Then it seems to absorbed into the shadow underneath him.

He turns back to the man to see his eyebrows up in his hairline, eyes wide as saucers. Thinking it’s funny, Vanitas feels the corner of his mouth lift, he thinks the word might be grin.

The man stands up straight as a rod before gesturing to the door, “Uh… everyone else is looking for you. We should go.” Then makes a quick exit.

Confused yet again, because nothing makes sense and no one will talk to him, he follows the taller man out the door. He wasn’t taller than the red man but they were close. Once he steps out, he’s greeted with the sight of a few people looking messy, some of their faces red and splotchy. They must have heard the taller man.

“Take that back!”

Vanitas looks to the shouting to see not Ventus yelling at a slightly taller boy.

“Take what back? I didn’t-“

“Don’t you dare! You know exactly what you said, now take it back!”

They are gathering everyone’s attention, but they don’t seem to care.

The tall red one holds both of his hands up, “Whoa, guys what’s going on?”

“Stay out of this Axel!”

The red head looks startled before backing up a bit. Was it weird that this one was mad?

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me. All I said was you should at least care that Sora left.” The slightly taller one is trying to keep his tone calm but he can’t hide the darkness creeping around his shadow from Vanitas.

“That’s it!” Suddenly, a Keyblade is in his hands, and he’s swinging it at the other.

Their fight doesn’t start since everyone in the hallway gets between them. Vanitas thinks it’s useless, why not let them just fight it out on their own?

¡ThEy CaN wEaR tHeMsElVeS oUt FoR hIm.

Ventus turns slightly to look at him before looking back at the fighting.

“Get out of my way! I’m ending this now!”

“Roxas you can’t-“

“Riku, don’t encourage-!”

“Guys, we should-“

“-fighting is not-“

“-stop it!-“

Vanitas shakes his head as the volume in the small hallway increases and with it so does his growing irritation. Ventus looks back at him again and it only puts him more on his toes.

ThEsE pEoPlE cLeArLy DoN’t GeT aLoNg¡ UsE iT! aGaInSt ¡ThEm!

He grits his teeth. An unversed appears near him and when he looks at it he’s pleasantly satisfied with its name, Bruiser. Though he's actually quite happy with it being there, it takes up a ton of room behind him, creating a sort of blockade. Now he’s stuck between it and these fighting lights.

Rolling his eyes, he tries to stamp on his growing irritation. Did these people ever stop talking?

A slightly angrier voice than the rest has him gripping his ears to try and block it out, “Would you KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY?!”

The spike of fear in his chest has the Bruiser springing into action. It’s fists collide with the wall, immediately grabbing everyone’s attention. Keyblades are quick to form in everyone’s hands but one.

“GUYS DON’T-!” Ventus is quickly cut off by a swift movement from the blue haired woman.

She rushes forward, her Keyblade swinging at him. He ducks down, out of range of her sweeping motion, his eyes close for a fraction of a second before flying open again. Pain erupts in his chest.

?It HuRtS¡!¿

His throat aches and it takes him way too long to notice that the screaming is coming from him but no matter how much he screams it won’t stop hurting!

!¿wHy DoEs It HuRt So MuCh¡?!

He can feel people moving closer to him but he doesn’t want them closer! He sees his shadow shudder underneath his feet and at first he’s scared until he sees multiple floods pour out of it. He knows more are forming on the edge of his senses but he can’t see them from his position.

His vision blurs when more stabs of pain sink into his chest. He’s choking on the noise coming from his mouth, it hurts and it won’t stop! One of the floods stays within his line of vision, standing dutifully as it rains on top of it. He doesn’t know where the water is coming from but he can’t see past it.

He screams again when a particularly heart ripping pain seers into him. He just wanTeD iT tO eNd¡

He closes his eyes tight, waiting for the pain to go away. It AlWaYs GoEs AwAy¿!

He bites his lips till he can taste something funny, he presses his hands into his ears until the ringing makes everything else fade, he leans forward until his head is pushing so hard into the floor he can’t feel it. All the while the flood stays just underneath his chest, now stuck under him as his body shakes.

He has no idea how long it lasts but when the pain finally fades, he’s too tired to care. Small shivers work through his body continually, a cold feeling quickly replacing it. He finally moves his hands from his head and hugs the flood to his chest. Tilting his body enough that he lands on his side, he keeps his head down, he doesn’t want to see anything right now.

A quiet moment passes where he’s convinced he’s completely aLoNe agAIn before something brushes his hair out of his eyes. Exhaustion makes his movements slow, his head tilting up enough to see a mess of blonde hair over a worried face.

“Hey.”

Vanitas shivers as a wave of cold hits him. He couldn’t figure out why but being around Ventus helped him a lot. It made him feel significantly better in his head. This time was different though, the feeling wasn’t there and after blinking his eyes again he seems the black coat draped over the others shoulders.

For some reason, looking at it makes him upset so he focuses on their face. That’s when he realizes this is not Ventus. This is the other person.

A disembodied voice comes stomping over, “How is he?”

The blonde looks away from him, “He’s shivering a lot but he looks like he knows what’s happening, more than I do anyway.”

Another blonde head moves into his line of sight and he notices that their hair color is actually different. While they were both blonde one of them was darker than the other. Funnily enough, their light was in a similar state. This not Ventus was darker than the actual Ventus in every way.

“What’s so funny?” A confused smile graces Ventus’s face as he looks at him.

The darker one scrunches his nose, “What do you mean? He’s not laughing or anything.” 

They look at each other, “No, but his emotions say otherwise. He thinks something is funny.”

“I thought you could only feel his strong emotions?”

The lighter blonde shrugs, “It’s weird, I thought that was the case but it’s easier to read him than it used to be…”

The flood slips from Vanitas’s grasp and head butts one of the blondes. Absently his hands move to grab it once more and pull it close, it was warmer than he was.

“Ow, I know you said not to kill those things but that hurt.”

The lighter blonde puts a hand behind his head, “Sorry.”

They both look back at him with mixed expressions.

“Hey, is he actually cold or is it something else because if he’s cold and we’ve just been sitting here doing nothing, I’m going to feel like a jerk.”

Roxas leans forward, or is that Ventus? and places a hand on his cheek. Vanitas turns toward the hand, shivering harder when he realizes just how warm the other is.

“Shoot, he’s freezing. I couldn’t tell if it was the pain or not.” He stands quickly and runs away from them.

The other one holds up a hand, “Whoa wait! Shouldn’t I be doing that? I don’t know what- and he’s gone.” His hand falls to the floor to support him again in his crawling position, “Jeez, I think HE’S more like Sora than you are.”

Vanitas holds the flood closer, he just felt like he was getting colder by the second. Enough so he thinks he can see his breath.

“Oh, wow. Even your breath is cold!”

Guess he can see it.

“Crap. Uh… I don’t know what to do.” Ve-Roxas leans back, his coat in full view now. The kid looks so lost it’s almost funny.

The flood moves out of his grasp again and head butts the kid in the back, making him fall forward, “Hey! Stop that, it really hurts!”

The flood twitches from where it stands before going back to Vanitas, letting him hug it once more.

“Wait, are you trying to tell me something? Because I’ll be honest it’s really hard to understand Vanitas let alone something without a human face.”

It burrows into Vanitas’s arms, the twitchy-ness never stopping. Finally something seems to click in the others head.

“I mean, would that work? I’ve never had to warm someone up before but I know setting them on fire is a bad idea.”

When silence is all his answer he lets his head drop before crawling closer, “Ok… just so we both know I’m only doing this because I feel bad.” He sounds so unsure of himself, so unlike how he usually sounds.

Ventus lifts him into an awkward hug, it’s sort of uncomfortable from his position but it’s definitely warmer. Shivering harder he presses into the other, seeking the warmth the other was putting off in waves. They tip dangerously at his action but Ventus recovers quickly.

“H-hey! Don’t push! You can’t get closer when your already against me. Geez! I don’t even give off as much heat as Axel does.”

They sit in silence, waiting for the other blonde to get back. Wait, maybe that one was Ventus and this one was the other one… Roxas. The thought leaves as another shiver shakes him to the core.

Nothing had gone right so far as he can remember. First, he woke up knowing nothing. Then people started to get mad at him. Then he woke up not knowing where he was. Again. And chased by that darkness that was slipping through the shadows. And then he was yelled at for trying to help. Then that weird sneezing attack! It doesn’t even stop there because they started yelling in the hall, he was attacked by that blue lady, then he hurt! and now he’s so cold he feels like dying!

Warmth wraps around him then, along with a calming feeling. His earlier frustration is washed away as he’s pulled into someone else’s chest.

“I got ‘im Rox. Take a breather.”

Vanitas opens his eyes to see more black, but this time, instead of blonde he sees red. Looking up he stares that super tall guy from before, holding him close like a small child.

“Why are you here? I thought you were getting blankets?”

He turns his head to see two Ventus’s standing above them. Exhaustion clouds his better judgement as the red head stands up.

“I was, but I saw Lea and when I tried to explain why I needed blankets he came with me saying he would help.”

Ventus number two nods his head, “Sounds about right.”

The man’s chest moves sharply when he squawks out, “HEY! I was trying to help! Besides, you looked like a drowned sheep when we got here.”

Ventus blushes while Roxas gives out a loud laugh, “Sorry, you really did and I feel bad about leaving you here alone, but thank you. For staying anyway.”

Ventus turns away from them slightly with a pout, “It’s fine. Let’s just get him to his room so he can warm up.”

Roxas’ss smile softens and he quietly leads them away. Vanitas is quick to fall asleep to the gentle rocking motions and the warmth that surrounds him.

A slight jostle has him opening his eyes again and he looks around as he’s being placed on a bed. As soon as he’s settled the duo blondes throw more blankets on him until their out.

“Thanks you guys. I really appreciate it.”

The two is black stand next to the door.

The red one waves, “It’s fine.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it.”

“Besides, we’ve been there.”

Ventus winces but nods, “Y-Yeah. Look, we’re gonna go to bed now. I’m worried about Xion after all of that.”

Roxas nods, “Ok. Good night you two. I think I’m going to stay here for the night. Make sure he’s not sick.”

The tall one gives him a thumbs up before placing a hand on the smaller one. They leave the room after that. The door closing behind them.

Slowly, Ventus turns towards him, it’s only then he realizes he’s had the two completely confused for each other the whole time but he doesn’t have the brain capacity to try and sort it out in his memories. The blonde walks closer, placing a hand on his forehead, a deep frown visible even in the dark.

“Huh, Vanitas, what happened?”

Said boy only notices the flood still in his arms when it crawls out of the blanket next to his head. It twitches from side to side before crawling and curling up by his head. Ventus had moved back slightly, but now leans close to look at the little guy in his hair.

“He seems to like you.”

Vanitas feels his eyes droop. He really wanted to go back to sleep now but he didn’t want to leave the blonde alone.

Said blonde smiles sadly, “I’ll be fine Vanitas. Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

A strange feeling makes his chest ache but in a good way? His eyes close shortly after, sleep claiming it’s distant friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too excited to be writing these.


	4. Distant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an important note at the end. If you would read it that would be most appreciated.
> 
> I didn’t go back and check this chapter as I should have, so this is kind of raw footage.

Vanitas opens his eyes to find blonde hair in his face. Moving back a little he takes note of how the hair is attached to Ventus. The poor teen had fallen asleep in a chair next to the bed, hands tucked underneath it for comfort.

Frowning, he takes a few minutes trying to get out from under all of the blankets without waking the other up. He’s surprised when he gets out of the bed without disturbing the other.

TyPiCaL

He frowns at the thought, he wasn’t sure where all these negative comments come from but he knows he’s thinking them. Shaking his head, he maneuvers Ventus into his spot on the bed before covering him with all of the blankets.

He feels good once he’s done but he isn’t sure why. Having nothing better to do, he sits down in the chair, officially switching their places. He didn’t want to leave the room, if the other ligh-people were still out there, he didn’t want to interact with them. He leans back in the chair and sits still, he could probably take the time to think now that the shadows had left him alone and those people weren’t here.

tHiNkInG GeTs YoU iN tRoUbLe¡

He squints at that, why would tHiNkInG get him in trouble? Did these people not like thin-HIM!

His body jerks bolt upright. His head whipping around the room as if searching for something, SoMeOnE.

Once he’s satisfied with the room and a few unversed are skittering around his senses, he relaxes back into the chair. Though the unversed don’t stop moving throughout the room. He picks one up as it passes him and inspects it.

Their bluish/purple color was deep min a way he thinks shadows are. He doesn’t understand their twitching but it makes him feel better so he doesn’t question it. He felt like that too. It’s red eyes bore into his own and he can’t help but feel overly protective of the thing. All of them were like this, twitchy.

He sets it back down, watching as it sinks into the floor to move faster around the room. A thought passes saying he could do that too and he is confused by that meaning. He could sink into the ground like a shadow?

Standing quietly, he moves away from the bed and chair. He watches the flood as they move in and out of the ground, trying to imagine what it would feel like to do the same thing. If he can just trigger the action once, it would be easier to repeat later.

He watches them for a long time, studying the way they move as closely as he can. When nothing happens he feels his frustration grow. Why wasn’t it working? If he had the thought that he could do it then he should be able to do it!

Suddenly he’s slipping. He’s not sure how else to say it but one second he’s stewing in anger, then the next he’s slipped to the floor. Slightly panicked, he’s unprepared to spring back up with so much force he slams into a set of doors. He fumbles with them as they fall on top of him. Trapping him momentarily until he slips, again, out from under them. This times he’s a little less surprised when he tumbled backwards into the chair and thing behind it. The loud crashing noises leave a slight ringing in his ears.

“Vanitas?! What are you doing?”

Said teen whips his head in the direction of the voice, Ventus kneels on the bed like he had tried to vault himself out of it, the most bewildered expression on his face.

Vanitas smiles a little, he wasn’t sure but it worked! Twice! He had done what the floods had!

Ventus’s worry fades from inside him to be replaced by something he couldn’t name, “Your ridiculous. You broke most of the furniture in this room and your smiling.”

Vanitas tilts his head before looking around, slowly the names of everything come back. What had fallen on him was a wardrobe and what he had fallen on was a side table. He shrugs his shoulders, his smile still very prominent on his face. Even as he’s trapped in a very precarious position and in danger of breaking either the table or the chair further if he moves.

The blonde boy starts laughing, joy spreading through Vanitas’s chest. Then the door swings open to reveal, her again, the blue haired lady and her Keyblade. He’s starting to think she doesn’t know how to put it away.

“VEN! What-“ She’s cut off by a taller male with brown hair almost plowing through her.

They tumble unceremoniously onto the ground, a tangle of limbs and clothing. This makes Ventus laugh harder, whatever he found funny was having a strange effect on Vanitas since he couldn’t hold back a laugh of his own, but it’s way softer than Ventus’s.

“Y-you guys! HA! Look ridiculous! HAHAHAHA WHAT DID I WAKE UP TO!”

The two older people look a mixture of confused and baffled but he thinks those might mean the same thing. His own laughter shakes his chest, causing a movement that tips the table behind him over its limit. It breaks cleanly in half, sending him tumbling further to the floor between the bed and the now broken table, his leg is still stuck in the chair but and least he’s mostly down now.

Ventus continues to laugh, doubled over himself on the bed with his fit of giggles. Vanitas can hear other people entering the room, more laughter joining in or he thinks he hears a loud scoff at some point.

When he finally wiggles out of his own mess and stands up, it’s with a pleasantly warm feeling coursing through his veins. The blonde is calming down now, though the huge smile doesn’t leave him. For once, it doesn’t bother Vanitas.

“So not that you guys have calmed down, so we get an explanation on what happened in here?”

Vanitas sees a silver haired teen point to the mess around the room and can’t help but feel warm in the face. He raises his hand sheepishly, making a vague gesture to himself before trying the slipping thing again. This time when he pops back up he only stumbles a little on his feet.

The blue haired lady looks upset but he thinks she always looks like that. The silver haired teen places a hand on his hip and one under his chin.

“How do you do that anyway? No matter how hard I try it just doesn’t work for me.”

Vanitas shrugs his shoulders as a response before turning to look at Ventus. Said male shrugs his shoulders too.

“I don’t know how he does it. I think it has something to do with him being made out of darkness.”

Slight shock runs through Vanitas and he looks to the others slightly panicked. MaDe from darKnEsS?¡

The silver haired teen notices his expression and holds up his hands, “It’s nothing to worry about though! I use darkness all the time when I fight to it’s fine!”

The panic eases, oh, so darkness wasn’t a BaD tHiNg¿

Ventus lays a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ll try to explain everything later. To be honest though, you knew more about the subject then I did, so you might not get the full picture.”

He nods, he kinda felt bad for forgetting something if he was the only one who knew it.

The blue haired lady leaves the room, silent as a trickle of water down glass. He thinks it’s accurate to her name.

Ventus gets up from the bed and gestures to the door, “Wanna get some food? You haven’t eaten since we found you yesterday.”

Vanitas tilts his head in confusion.

The tall red head he hadn’t noticed before points a finger at him, “Hold on. I recognize that head tilt. It means you don’t know what we’re talking about.”

In response he nods his head slowly, that was sort of right.

“No. No no no, I’ve gone through this crap before. I’m dealing with this. Move.” The red head moves the silver haired boy out of his way as he grabs Vanitas’s shoulder and leads him out of the room, “I’ve dealt with too many small kids with no memories in my life to be comfortable with people who have no experience trying to teach them about the world. You,” He points a finger at his chest, “Are going to learn from me. And I guess Ventus but I’m in charge. Got it.” Now he points at the blonde.

Said blonde holds up his hands, apparently he was following them, “Alright! Alright, you’re in charge of the memory issue!”

They walk down the hallway and down a set of stairs. He gets lost by the time they make it to a larger room that smells really good. He looks around to see a lot more people here, most he had seen last night.

“Good morning Keyblade wielders! I bring you! A teenager who doesn’t know what food is!” 

A short black haired girl looks up from where she was eating, “But I’m right here?”

Roxas chokes on his own food, covering his mouth and shaking, once he calms down he puts a hand on her shoulder, “He wasn’t talking about us.”

She gives them a confused look and Vanitas can’t help but feel the same.

The redhead ruffles his hair, “This guy has no memories. Sound familiar? So!” The man stands at his full height as he jabs a finger into his own chest, “I’m going to be taking care of it!”

The girl leans over to the no next to and whispers, “He adopted another one.” Loud enough that everyone can hear it.

Laughs are heard around the room and in general being happy and light. The redhead makes some sort of argument but no one listens to him. Vanitas smiles a little at the warmth in his own chest before walking to the side.

The redhead is quick to follow, “Ok. First things first. My name is Lea, nice to meet you.”

Vanitas is confused when a hand is held out to him, what was he supposed to do? The man helps him with that by taking one of his hands and shaking it.

“This is a hand shake, some people don’t like hugs to say hi, so you give them a hand shake. Got it memorized?”

Slowly he nods. The rest of ‘breakfast’ as he learns goes by in a similar manner. They had found out very quickly that he wasn’t a fan of sugary foods, but he liked fruit. He also found dark chocolate to be his favorite thing while everyone else seemed to not like it.

He learned most of their names too. The short black haired girl was Xion. Roxas was the darker Ventus. Lea and Axel were the same person but had different names depending on who talked to him. The brown haired boy was Sora. The blonde girl was Naminé. The brown haired man was Terra and the blue haired lady was Aqua, though he feels like he knew that. Riku was the silver haired boy and then there was Donald the duck, Mickey the mouse, and Goofy the… cow?

He listens to them talk while he eats a bowl of fruit. He was thankful for Lea helping him with everything. It was a good change from the constant confusion from earlier. Ventus had explained that he was different from all of them because he was made of darkness, or more specifically, the darkness that was in Ventus’s heart. It didn’t really make sense but he just figured it would later.

Eventually the itching under his skin has him slipping from the room unnoticed. He didn’t know why but it felt like there was more light than before and it was starting to bother him. Maybe it was a darkness thing. He doesn’t want to get lost but he found an open door that lead outside.

Curiosity eats at him until he walks through the door, and suddenly he can’t breathe. Outside he can see the sky plastered in tiny lights. He’s mesmerized by how bright the sky looks despite all of the black. He falls a little when he almost trips down the stairs but he quickly regains balance and keeps moving. The farther he gets from the door, the brighter they get.

Once he finally stops walking, he’s engulfed in the surrounding lights. Suddenly, he’s not standing on dirt but he’s out among them. Doing a slow turn to get a good look at every little dot around him. Their different colors, the shapes, the swirls and clusters of light, he’s totally lost in it.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

Vanitas startles so bad he almost falls over, whipping around he sees Naminé.

She walks closer, her hands up, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

He shrugs, calming his nerves as she stands next to him.

“The first time I saw them for myself was from a ship.”

They stare up at the sky around them, taking in as much as they can.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He glances at her with a shrug, then after a moment he nods.

She fidgets for a moment before looking him directly in the eye, “Why is it you won’t talk?”

At this he turns fully to her, he wasn’t sure how to answer since he couldn’t really. He scrunches his nose, his eyes falling into a frown as he opens his mouth only to close it again. At the aborted motion he then tries to move his hands in some way to convey why but doesn’t know how to do that either.

Luckily she takes potty on him, “Would it help if I asked you yes or no questions?”

Vanitas nods, those would be easy to answer.

“Alright, um… would you like to talk?”

He nods.

“Do yooou… know how to talk?”

At this he shakes his head.

“But you understand us when we say things?”

He nods then thinks about it before waving his hand around.

“Sometimes?”

Now he nods.

She is quiet for a moment before nodding to herself, “Is there a way we can help with that?”

He pauses, he wasn’t sure they could help. He knew what talking was and he could understand them but he couldn’t do it himself. It was another thing that was bothering him, he knew a lot but every time he interacted with these people he learned something new. Like, how could he not have known what food was? Or why had he forgotten Keyblades? But he knew what the unversed were?

At his prolonged silence Naminé smiles sadly, “It’s ok. If you don’t know we can work on it later?”

He nods slowly at this before looking back at the lights. He just didn’t want to look away for long. It was similar to how he didn’t want to be away from Ventus, something about it just made him calm. Like he used to do this all the time.

They stand in silence for a long time, or in Naminé’s case, sit. He had no idea what she was doing but she didn’t leave, he’s thankful for that.

He stands at the edge of an imaginary platform, surrounded by lights from every side, trying to imagine what it would be like to fly around in it with nothing but himself.

Naminé is talking next to him, but it’s not in his direction so he doesn’t listen, until she moves to stand directly behind him.

“Master Aqua, please. He’s not hurting me. He hasn’t moved since I found him out here.”

“Naminé you wouldn’t understand what he was like. You weren’t around during all of the bad things he did. You have to get away from him before he hurts you.”

Vanitas turns enough to see the angry blue haired lady, Aqua, standing a short distance from them. Naminé stands in the middle of them, her arms clutching something to her chest.

“No, it’s fine, I promise. We were just watching the stars.”

Ah, so the small dots were stars.

“He could remember everything at any moment Naminé, you have no idea how cruel he was.”

They both go quiet, neither moving. Why were they constantly fighting over whether or not he was sAfE?

Slowly, he places a hand on the blondes shoulder. She turns swiftly to look at him and out of the corner of his eye he sees a flash of light. Once they make eye contact he moves his hand to her back and turns her back around to push lightly. Not enough to knock her over but enough that she has to take a step.

“Wha-?” Her confusion is thick and it makes him feel bad because he didn’t know how to say it.

He repeats the action so she has taken a few steps before backing away from her. His hands up in the air.

“Vanitas?” She turns around fully now, something sad in her eyes that confuses him.

He waves his hand at her, a gesture he had seen Axel use to get Roxas to leave him alone. Maybe if he copied their movements instead of making his own they would understand him.

Naminé’s face crumbles and it makes his heart hurt. He didn’t like that face. He frowns and repeats the action, maybe she didn’t see it before.

Aqua is quick to step forward and move the girl back and behind her, seemingly shielding her from him. Maybe if he could convince her he wasn’t bad they would stop fighting?

LeAvE¡! But where would he gO?

Naminé doesn’t leave, not willingly. Aqua basically forces her back to the door he had left. That’s when he notices everyone else standing in the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rant?: I received a note on the last chapter that I have no plans on deleting. It is here to stay. It’s not a very nice note but it needs to be left alone.
> 
> I ask people in the comments not to say anything about it on my behalf since I feel the situation has been resolved.
> 
> That being said. I have no plans on deleting this work. I am going to continue writing it as I please, regardless of how others feel.
> 
> I am however going to subscribe to the ‘If you don’t like it, don’t read it’ tag that I have been adamantly avoiding since day one. I hate that such a tag has to exist since I think it’s plainly obvious that a person isn’t being forced to read something, especially if they don’t like it.
> 
> If you yourself have been receiving hatful comments about your works, please, don’t stop being creative because of it. If you need helpful encouragement for your writing, let me know. Message me over tumblr and I will do everything I can to assist you.


	5. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent so long on this chapter. Reading and rereading it. I don’t usually do that and I still feel like somethings off about this chapter. Whatever, this is as good as it’s going to get!

Ventus is quick to get between them and Vanitas can’t help feeling a little irritated. He had just moved one of them out of the way and now another blonde stands in her place.

Ventus has taken on a much more aggressive stance, his hand is behind him, a shimmer there that he realizes is his Keyblade starting to form but not quite. His other hand is in front of him. The fighting stance is oddly familiar.

“Aqua. You have to leave him alone.”

She hesitates, she hadn’t taken her own fighting stance yet but he feels like if she does, it won’t end well.

“Ven, I won’t fight you over this.”

“Then leave him alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Then you’ll have to go through me.”

A tree-Terra comes over with his hands up, “Guys. Stop it! We can’t be fighting each other again.”

The again makes them all flinch, including Vanitas, though he isn’t sure why.

“Terra, he’s the enemy! He has always been the enemy! He’s played us before and I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again!”

“Wouldn’t he have attacked us already if that were true?”

!YeS

Ventus doesn’t drop his stance, “If you want to talk about it fine! We’ll talk about it, in front of everyone so we have witnesses.”

Aqua doesn’t look comfortable with that but the blonde doesn’t let her speak.

“I won’t let you hurt him because he’s part of me! You were too busy fighting Terra to see what happened when Sora and I thought we had killed him. You didn’t see how lost he looked, you didn’t feel how desperate he was when he was talking to us! I thought he was gone! You have no idea how much it hurt to have thought that he would never get a second chance.”

He summons his Keyblade fully now and braces his fighting stance, “We aren’t the same person but if Xehanort had taken me instead of him I WOULD HAVE DIED!”

Aqua takes a step back, Terra looks rooted to the spot and Vanitas feels like he’s been slapped.

That name. He remembered that name. It made him afraid and AnGrY¡ So aNgRy! That thing from the hallway comes back with a vengeance. Suddenly, the Keyblade is in his hand again. His anger is scalding as the shadows flick around him, this time he doesn’t try to run from them.

Their ugly as they lash out. XeN@NoRt !RuInEd EvEr¥tHiNg¡ He TrIeD !tO kIlL mE¿ He feels resistance against the shadows, something was resisting HiM¿! He DoEsN’t H@Ve T¡Me FoR¡ tHiS. He feels unversed emerging around him, bigger than the bruiser.

Vanitas lets it happen. Xehanort. The monster who DeStRo¥eD hIm! £vEr¥tH!Ng Wa$ hIs F@U|T¡

A soft hand lands on his shoulder and he is quick to smack it away, his Keyblade raises high to strike and he’s stopped short as he sees a mop of black hair and not white. Unable to stop the swing, he lets go of the weapon so it disappears.

She stands unmoving, and he lets his arms fall, the anger was still there but it wasn’t directed at her. As soon as he looks away, she’s launched herself at him, her arms wrapping around him tight enough that he can’t move. As quick as he is to turn all his anger around, it’s suddenly gone.

Xion is shaking as she hugs him, a wet spot forming where her face is smooshed into his coat. It takes him a moment to realize she’s crying.

The shadows fade back into non existence and the unversed are quick to follow in wisps of black smoke. He stares at her, eyes wide as he tries to understand what’s happening.

Her next words make him want to cry too, “I watched him hurt you so much and never did anything. I’m so sorry.”

His arms are trapped but he tries to hug her back anyway. ThEsE kIdS aRe ToO soFt, and for once it doesn’t sound angry.

Ventus is quick to join the hug, Roxas places a hand on Xion’s shoulder, while Axel stands close by. Vanitas isn’t sure what to do but when they all back away from him he finds he misses the warmth.

Xion wipes her eyes, a large blush there, “Sorry.”

He shrugs, waving his hand.

Ventus looks at him, “I didn’t know you could do that.” 

Vanitas tilts his head.

“The shadow thing.” He makes a big gesture with his hands, “You just used the shadows instead of becoming them or even creating unversed, it was a huge black mass! It kind of reminded me of… uh… something… I’ve seen before. I didn’t know you could do that?”

He shrugs, he didn’t either after all.

Riku walks over to their group and gestures to the door, “I think we should all go back inside the tower and have a talk. Obviously, somethings need to be sorted out and I don’t think we can avoid it any longer.”

The group agrees, easily following him into the building. Vanitas is reluctant to leave the stars but he thinks he needs to be around for this.

They go back to the kitchen where they had eaten and take a seat in various places around the room. Vanitas decides to stand against the wall. Once everyone is settled they look around at each other.

Mickey holds up a hand to get their attention, “How about I start?” He stands up on his chair so they can see him, “Lets begin with something simple. First, we all know that there’s a few disagreements about whether or not Vanitas should stay here. So I think we should ask Vanitas how he feels first. Remember, we’re keeping this as peaceful as possible so if you have anything to say you should wait for your turn.”

The mouse turns to the subject of the hour with a small smile on his face, “Now, I know you can’t really talk with us, so would it help if we had Ventus relay how your feeling? If that’s ok with him?”

Vanitas looks at the blonde who nods, “I’m ok with that if he is.”

Looking back at the mouse he gives his own nod, he waits for some kind of question to be asked but when silence continues he starts getting antsy from all the stares.

“I think he’s waiting to be asked a question.” Naminé, isn’t looking at anyone when she speaks.

Riku’s voice is soft, “What do you mean?”

She shifts, “When I was talking to him earlier, he said it was easier to answer yes or no questions.”

Riku puts a thumb under his chin and everyone turns back to Vanitas. Mickey luckily, stops whatever their faces mean, “Alright, I’ll ask a few questions first and after I’m done, we’ll ask for more. Deal?” Everyone agrees with him so he turns all his attention back on Vanitas, “Alright Vanitas. First question, do you remember anything from before the Graveyard?”

Vanitas shakes his head.

Mickey nods, “Do you feel any pain?”

Slightly surprised, Vanitas does a quick once over, he doesn’t feel any pain right now. A shake.

“Do you know where your new Keyblade came from?”

He tilts his head, his Keyblade was new?

Ventus speaks up this time, “I know where it’s from but I think we should save that for later.”

Mickey gives him a thumbs up, “Alright. Next question, a name was mentioned earlier that you reacted negatively to. Do you know who that man is?”

Anger spikes high but he keeps it back, he isn’t sure who the person was but he hated thinking about them. So he shakes and then nods his head.

“I’m not sure what that means.”

Ventus tries to fill in the blanks, “I’m not sure either, but he’s not happy to be thinking about it.”

Mickey hums in thought before continuing, “Alright, so you recognize the name at least. Ok! Well. Those are the only questions I had! Would you be willing to answer some other questions from the others?”

Vanitas takes a calming breath before nodding.

“Thank you. Then let’s do it this way,” he turns around, “If you have a question for him, raise your hand. I know it might seem childish but if everyone starts asking questions at once he won’t be able to answer any of them.”

The room agrees, though a few reluctantly. Almost as soon as their given a ‘go’ hands fly into the air, overwhelmed he looks to the mouse for help. Mickey smiles at him before picking Axel.

“So, I know we sort of went over this but why does he look like a dark version of Sora?”

Vanitas tilts his head confused while Ventus leans back in his chair, “He never really explained that before everything that happened. It had something to do with our hearts shattering but it didn’t make any sense to me.”

Axel nods and puts his hands behind his head, “Alright, that wasn’t really a yes or no question so my bad but that’s the only one I had.”

Mickey gestures to Terra next.

“Myself and these two happen to know a lot about you and your past. I’ll be honest with you… it’s not good, but I figured I’d offer anyway. Knowing that your past isn’t a happy one, would you still like us to tell you about what we know?”

Aqua looks angry at the question but now Vanitas has a few of his own, if his past was a bad one, did he want to know? In response he shrugs his shoulders slowly. He needed more time to think about that one.

Terra gives him a simple nod before settling back against the counter. Mickey points to Riku.

“You seem to be learning your old powers quickly. Are you remembering things at the same time?”

He shakes his head.

Riku goes quiet though he does raise his hand again. Mickey picks someone else but he’s not sure who, he’s too distracted by the look Aqua was giving him.

“Are the unversed still dangerous?”

He snaps his eyes back to the group trying to figure out who had spoken. After a second of not being able to figure it out he shrugs. He didn’t think they were dangerous but the others seemed to be worried about them.

Ventus locks eyes with Donald, “The only reason they would be dangerous is if Vanitas wanted them to be. He showed me once how he summons them, they are created from his negative emotions. So if you see one, then he’s most likely upset.”

Vanitas tilts his head, they came from his negative emotions? The ones that make him mad? That would make sense but he wasn’t always mad.

Axel sees his confusion and speaks without raising his hand, “Are you trying to figure out what negative emotions are?”

Everyone is slightly surprised when he nods.

“Negative emotions are things that make you unhappy. For example, if you want to cry, that’s negative. If you’re hurt, that’s negative. If you want to hit something, that’s negative. The opposite of that is positive emotions, those are the ones that make you smile, feel calm, or warm.”

Vanitas nods in understanding, then panic was bad.

They wait in silence for a second, when he looks up at them again, Mickey points to Xion.

She hesitates, grasping her hands together hard before finally whispering, “Do you remember me? From when we were trapped together?”

A sudden guilt makes his stomach feel funny, he can’t remember anything but he really wanted to now. He wanted to know everything if it would make the sad look on her face go away. A few floods start skittering around his feet, it makes a few of them jump but he doesn’t care. All his focus is on the black haired girl.

Finally, he shakes his head, he doesn’t like how it makes him feel once he’s done but she nods her head anyway.

“I didn’t think so.” Her voice is so small, he realizes that this must be what Roxas said ‘jerk’ felt like.

Vanitas pushes himself away from the wall and approaches her, waiting for the flinch that usually comes with the rest of them, but as he gets closer she doesn’t do that. Xion just sits with that sad face and he can’t look at it anymore. Slowly, he loops his arms around her, like she had done earlier. This had also helped him so it must be a positive emotion thing. She stiffens for only a second before hugging him back.

It doesn’t last long before he’s pulling away, leaving a flood in her lap as he goes back to his place at the wall. He feels weird with everyone staring at him, even if a few are smiling.

Mickey moves his hand to gesture to the room, “You up for one last question?”

Vanitas nods, Riku was the only one with a question, fOr NoW.

The teen folds his arms over his chest, “My last question is sort of a private one, so would you be ok with me asking you it when everyone leaves?”

Riku gets a few sceptical looks from the others but Vanitas can’t see what was wrong with that. He nods.

They all take a moment to think before Mickey is talking again. He stops listening, they weren't directly talking to him and he had better things to think about now. Terra said he knew who he used to be. He could give him all the answers and supposedly so could Ventus and Aqua. Maybe that’s why she didn’t like him if it was all bad though. Then there was Xion, who also said they knew each other. Would she say bad things about him too? But she had seemed so sad to have been forgotten.

Something sharp stings his brain about that last part, Of CoUrSe ShE dIdN’t. He didn’t like being forgotten either, or forgetting.

He looks at the black haired girl and then the blonde one, Naminé. Now that he’s seeing them in the same room, they almost look like the same person. He shrugs it off for now. Lea had said he would help him, maybe he could help with his communication problem like the girl had suggested.

A flood warms its way up his shoulders, taking a spot on his left to twitch. He was glad for the company.

“Vanitas.”

He snaps his head up, looking around for a second before seeing Ventus standing close to him.

“There you are. You weren't responding to anything we were saying.” His voice is soft, like he didn’t want to interrupt.

Vanitas shrugs, he had no idea what was happening outside his head.

Ventus smiles, “That’s ok. Their talking about whether or not you should stay here and voicing their complaints. Do you have anything you want to put in?”

Vanitas thinks about it, he didn’t really want to leave but it didn’t matter to him. These people were always fighting each other over him and he couldn’t understand why they didn’t just ThRoW hIm AwAy¿

The blonde gives him a pained look, “Hey, we’re not going to just get rid of you. That’s why we’re talking about it. It’s going to be ok I promise.”

PrOmIsEs ArE eMpTy!

He shrugs, his mind was too confusing to think about right now and he could care less what they all had to say. Turning, he leaves the room quietly, going back outside to watch the stars again.

And if a few minutes later he feels a soft glow sitting on the steps behind him, he doesn’t say anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada!


	6. Discussions

Vanitas doesn’t know how much time has passed since their ‘meeting’, as Axel will explain later, but eventually a second person joins the first outside. He recognizes the dark feeling as the same one from yesterday.

They approach slowly, but with loud foot falls. Once they are close enough they speak, “Ehm Vanitas?”

He turns, Riku stands behind him, a look of concentration fixed on the ground.

When he doesn’t respond Riku looks up, “Can I ask you that question now?”

He nods, best a time as any.

The silver haired teen takes a moment before speaking, looking increasingly upset, “Can you teach me how to manipulate the darkness the way you do? I can control my own darkness just fine but you seem to be able to work with it without having to be careful of what you do.”

Vanitas tilts his head, he didn’t know what he meant by that since the darkness within the teen was so small. Let iT CoNsUmE¡ He nods his head, he wasn’t sure how but he would try.

Riku’s face relaxes, the relief obvious, “Thank you. I didn’t want to ask in front of the others because I didn’t know how they would react. I do have one more question though, if you don’t mind?”

Vanitas waves a hand, it would be better if he just asked all his questions.

“Can I help you with your darkness too? Not the ones I need help with but the other ones?”

Confused, he squints at the other teen, what did he mean by that? Is he referring to the one that wants to eat him?

Riku stares at him, searching he thinks, before their eyes meet. They don’t move as they stand there, watching, waiting.

Finally, the other gives him a weird look, “You know what I’m talking about, I can help you with that one as payment for helping me with the other one.”

Vanitas shifts to the other foot, if this person could make the shadow go away then he’d be more than willing to help, he just wasn’t sure how.

When he nods his head, Riku gives him his thanks before leaving back to the tower, something about their meeting still going on. They sounded so boring if they took so much time.

Later, Vanitas is told by Ventus that their group wouldn’t be using a gummy ship to head home because they had armor and gliders. He had tried to ask what those were but no one could understand him. So when he watches Ventus throw his Keyblade to create a flying object he’s pleasantly surprised to find out it’s the so called glider. They say their goodbyes, promising to talk over their gummy phones, why was everything gummy?, and then their off.

The first thing Vanitas actually remembers about all of the chaos that ensued, was the sheer awe he had felt when they were flying through the stars. Even through his tinted helmet it had looked like the brightest thing in all the worlds. He was so excited Ventus had to tell him a few times to stop moving around so much, he didn’t listen because of the laughter in the others voice.

The next thing he would remember is how the atmosphere changed when they landed. The three people he was with got super sad, and since he didn’t think he could make them happy he had stayed back from them as they went about making a ‘shrine’. Ventus explained this part to him when they were finished in a very quiet voice.

He had wandered around outside for a while, alone, when the group had left with a large Keyblade in hand. This place was bright, it seemed, unlike the tower, this place had a sun. He had actually gotten lost when a high pitched voice stopped him.

“Ventus?”

When he had turned, something deep in his heart had leapt at the sight of the small creature covered in stripes and wearing a cape. He had smiled sadly before shaking his head.

“Are you not Ventus?”

Vanitas had shaken his head again and pointed the way he had come, he thinks Ventus had been that way.

“He’s that way?”

A nod.

“O...ok.” And then it had disappeared in a puff of smoke.

He was sad to see it go but it wasn’t looking for him.

Now, he sits at a large table the next day, eating breakfast in the silent room. He wasn’t alone, next to him Ventus was shoving food in his face like he hadn’t eaten in ten years, a joke Terra had made then made a face at, and across from him was the man himself and Aqua. They spoke in hushed voices and quick glances.

He ignores them in favor of finishing the fruit. It was sour according to Terra but he liked it. Ventus was trying to join in on the conversation with Terra and Aqua when a poof of smoke revealed the small creature from yesterday, Vanitas was the first to see it.

He waves a hand at the creature on the floor, a small grin on his lips.

The creature eagerly waves a hand back at him, “Good morning!”

Ventus startles before turning around in his chair, “Chirithy!”

Vanitas feels that leap in his chest again, even as Ventus picks up the creature to sit him on the table.

“Good morning! I couldn’t find you earlier and I was super worried!”

Chirithy smiles, “Sorry, I was exploring the castle, when I went to your room you were gone so I came to find you! I’m glad you’re eating breakfast.”

Ventus laughs, “Yeah, I’m so hungry it’s ridiculous. Oh! I never introduced you.”

He gestures towards his left, “This is Vanitas! Vanitas this is Chirithy!” The smile directed at him is so wide on Ventus’s face it makes him feel weird but he waves at Chirithy anyway.

“Oh, hello Vanitas! Sorry about yesterday!”

He shakes his head but Ventus looks confused, “What happened yesterday?”

Chirithy looks back at the blonde, “I found him wandering around yesterday and I thought he was you. That makes me a little confused because that’s never happened before.”

Ventus smiles softly, “It might be because he used to be me.”

Chirithy tilts their head, clearly confused, “Used to be you?”

Ventus nods, “We were split in two. It’s kind of a long story, so I’ll tell it later, but anyway! This is Terra and Aqua! Guys this is Chirithy!”

The two nod, exchanging hellos with the creature. They start talking shortly after about anything and everything they can think of. Vanitas finishes his food without saying anything and leaves, he wanted to get a better look around the castle.

The castle is huge, he thinks. Gold and white interlaced to create hallways and doors, there were lots of doors. Most of them had the same stuff inside, a bed, a desk and chair, a wardrobe and a side table. He had found one that was different but it was small with sticks and buckets inside. There were also a lot of stairs, leading up to the individual towers, a few had outside parts where he could walk across to see everything was small on the ground. In these towers were large rooms with stairs and desks everywhere in a circle.

His favorite place to find was a large room with soft chairs and books. He learned that one from Naminé. He had pulled out a few of them because they were a strange color, and when he had dropped one, it flew back into its rightful place. Excited, he had started pulling out books from everywhere to stack in the middle of the room. Once he was done he stepped back and waited. After a moment they started lifting off the ground and flying back to where they belonged.

Satisfied after the last book had slid snuggly into its place, he turned to leave, only to be stopped at the sight of Chirithy in the door.

“Hi Vanitas.”

He tilts his head, wait. It looked like Chirithy but it was a different color. Instead of the soft grays it was a harsh gray, it’s cape was a dull yellow, the bag faded and it’s eyes were slightly open. It walked over to him slowly.

Vanitas crouched down on the ground when it got closer, it’s eyes were piercing as it looked at him.

“Are you surprised?”

He nods, why wouldn’t he be.

“I’m Chirithy. I heard everything that happened at breakfast. Were you really part of Ventus?”

He nods his head, that’s what they all told him.

“That would make sense then. If you have been split in two.”

He shrugs this time, he had learned that people liked to see him move instead of standing still during conversations.

“Are you comfortable here?”

A shrug, he thinks so.

“Ok. Is it alright if I stay with you?”

Mildly surprised he nods, he would like the company. They leave the room together, continuing to explore the castle until the small creature reminds him he needs to go eat lunch.

Taking its advice he leaves to the food room, not kitchen. When he opens the door, he isn’t surprised when it disappears just before he enters because on the other side, Chirithy is already sitting with Ventus at the table, all soft grays once more.

Terra greets him, “Where have you been Vanitas?”

Vanitas shrugs, he had no idea. Then thinking about it he points up.

“Upstairs? Oh, you must have found the library.”

He tilts his head, what was a library?

The brunette waves a hand to elaborate, “It's the place filled with books. Do you know what a book is?”

Understanding he nods, taking a seat by a plate of food. He doesn’t know what it is but it looks nice.

Ventus nudges his elbow, “Hey, later we’re going to Destiny Islands mostly for dinner but they have a huge beach there! Would you like to come?”

Vanitas takes a moment to think about that, he didn’t particularly want to since the name made him feel weird but it might be nice. He shakes his head.

Ventus frowns, “You don’t want to go?”

Another shake.

The blonde sounds a little disappointed, “Alright. Maybe next time?”

He shrugs.

Lunch is just as quiet as breakfast, Aqua joining them a little late. By that point Vanitas leaves again, wanting to see all of the castle before the day is over.

Chirithy is by his side once he leaves the food room, “Hello, Vanitas! Sorry I didn’t join you.”

He shrugs, it wasn’t a problem since he sat with Ventus. They begin again, this time going to the place they had left off. Searching rooms and wandering high outside. He sees the three other people leave on their flying things and tries to understand the feeling in his chest. It doesn’t work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter feels a little scattered and choppy, I did it on purpose. Other than that let me know if I made a mistake!


	7. Authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m looking for Beta readers!

If you would like to Beta read any of my stories please let me know! I will use discord to communicate with you! I will be deleting this message when I post the next chapter.

https://discord.gg/bzYZqY8


	8. Wandering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to Beta read any of my stories please let me know! I will use discord to communicate with you!
> 
> https://discord.gg/bzYZqY8

Days pass much the same to him. He wakes up, eats with the others, wanders around, eats with them again, wanders, eats, sleeps and starts the cycle over when he wakes up. He isn’t sure how much time passes before he comes across a room he hadn’t been into before.

This room is different than the others, this is mostly because the gold and white combo of the outside doesn’t touch this room. Instead, it’s filled with reds and gold. Fascinated he walks farther into the room, Chirithy close behind.

“This room is really fancy.”

Vanitas nods, it really was. Walking around the room, he gazes at all of the things on the wall or near it. He isn’t really sure what any of them are but many of them are made of wood or metal.

“Oh, these are instruments!”

He looks down at his small companion with a questioning look.

“They make music when you play them.”

Intrigued, he looks around the room for some way to play them. When nothing on the wall catches his eye he looks to the ones sitting on the floor.

Looking to one of the biggest things in the room, he moves closer to it and points before looking at Chirithy.

“That’s a piano. Why don’t you try playing it?”

He tilts his head, staring at the shiny black and very smooth surface.

“Here,” It hops onto the strange stool nd lifts up a section of the piano, “This is the lid, it covers the keys to protect them.”

Leaning forward, Vanitas helps lift the lid and exposes a long line of white and black.

“These are like buttons. You push them to play music. Why don’t you try it?”

Deciding there’s no harm in trying and really wanting to learn what music was, Vanitas slides next to Chirithy at its promptings. Taking a deep breath before pressing one of the buttons.

Noise echoes around the room. It’s a higher sound and for a moment he’s startled into moving away.

Chirithy’s soft voice and paw stop him from knocking anything over, “It’s ok! It’s ok. That was a music note. You have to make lots of those to make a song, which is also what we call music.” He settles down back into his seat, “Why don’t you try again?”

He hesitates, something in the back of his mind wants him to move away from the piano, to run and never look back. A much smaller part says he should try again.

Curiosity wins out and he slowly raises his hand to play another ‘note’ this one is different from the last, slightly lower.

“See? It’s not so scary.”

Nodding, he beats down that voice inside of him that makes him afraid and lifts his other hand. It’s more comfortable than with one.

Slowly but steadily, he presses the buttons, or are they keys? to figure out what they sound like. On his right, they get higher as he goes and on his left they get lower. Smiling to himself, he presses each ‘key’ one at a time, waiting until the note dies before pressing the next one.

“Do you like it?”

He nods, trying to figure out what to do now that he’s finished.

“Which note is your favorite?”

Trying to remember which key he liked best, he goes back down each key pressing them to find the one he likes. He stops around the middle when one particular note rings out more to him than the rest. He presses it again.

“That one huh? That’s a nice note.”

The small voice from before gets louder, the strong feeling of WANT making his fingers tremble slightly.

“Are you alright?”

Pulling his fingers away he nods. Ignoring the fact a flood crawls up his leg to rest on his shoulder.

“You know you can keep playing if you want to right?”

Silence engulfs them, slightly uncomfortable but it might just be him. He presses the note again before closing his eyes and letting his hands wander. At first the notes sound awful, grating on his ears to no end, but that feeling of WANT turns to a NeEd and he can’t stop until it goes away.

As he plays, more and more notes start to make sense. They start to sound right together in a way he isn’t familiar with. He doesn’t dare open his eyes, afraid that if he does the spell would end.

He continues to play, picking up speed once he is more confident in how his hands move. He loses track of what’s around him, the flood on his shoulder disappears, the world fades and he starts seeing stars appear across the dark of his eyes. The music is loud, drowning out all other sounds as his hands fly over the keys.

He knows this song, he even thinks he knows the name for it but the words don’t form in his head. It’s sharp like a knife, frustrated as he plays faster and with more intensity. Slowing for only a moment to something close to sad before picking up again. His notes jerking to a jumpy note set, his left hand staying near the lower notes instead of flying around like before.

Something sharp enters into his space and he whips his head around to where the door lay open behind him. The song cut off abruptly on the wrong notes, making him itch to finish what he had started but his fear is higher than that need.

Aqua stands just inside the door, a look on her face he doesn’t understand. She quiet and for once her Keyblade isn’t in her hand.

Vanitas does a small check around him from where he stands, Chirithy is gone but in its place is a blue Jellyshade. It moves up and down in slow rhythmic motions.

The blue haired woman raises her hands to show she hadn’t summoned her Keyblade, “I um…” the sight of her hesitating has him coming down slightly, “I’m… sorry. To have interrupted you.”

Slowly, he moves out of his defensive stance, placing a hand on the top of the large unversed next to him.

She shuffles awkwardly, “I didn’t know you could play.”

He shrugs, he hadn’t known either.

They stare at each other for a moment, the distance between them is uncomfortable and makes conversation difficult since they had to be slightly louder then either were used to, but with only one of them actually speaking, it made it worse.

She shuffles her feet before moving back to the door, “I’m just going to leave you to it then. Sorry.”

The door closes behind her as she leaves, the air in the room lightening only for a moment before she pokes her head back in.

“I forgot to tell you but, I actually came to let you know that the others will be here shortly.” She stalls for a moment, waiting for something.

Realizing what it is, he nods his head. He barely finishes before she’s gone again.

“Geez, she could be a little nicer.”

Vanitas jumps at the voice, whipping around to see Chirithy standing on the piano directly behind him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He shakes his head and picks up the dark thing, holding it close as he points to the piano.

“I know. I’m not supposed to be on the piano, I’m sorry.”

That feeling from before comes back, begging him to play the instrument he had left behind but he pushes it aside to walk towards the door. The Jellyshade flies after him, sticking close even as he tries to calm down his rising feelings.

When Vanitas finally makes it to the main room, he sees Riku speaking with Terra. He thinks Kairi and Naminé are talking with someone but he can’t see them from his spot.

He walks closer, Riku noticing him before he’s reached where their standing, “Hey Vanitas.”

The girls turn in his direction at the others words and he shyly offers a wave.

Ventus leans out from behind the girls, “There you are Van! I looked everywhere for you but Aqua told me she found you first. Where did you go?”

Vanitas isn’t sure how to explain the room he was in without words but luckily for him, Aqua’s voice answers from behind him, “He was in the music room.”

The blonde tilts his head, “We have a music room?”

No one answers him, but Riku shifts in his spot, “So, would you be willing to try what we talked about at the tower?”

The others give him a confused look but Vanitas nods to him. He did make a promise after all.

The teen nods, “Hey, Terra, is there a training ground we could use?”

The taller man tilts his head while thinking, “Well, yeah. There’s plenty but what do you need it for?”

Riku hesitates before sighing heavily, “I don’t think you’ll be happy with me, but I asked Vanitas if he could help me with the part of darkness that I don’t understand. I didn’t tell anyone because I was worried you guys would freak out.”

Aqua makes a strangled noise from behind Vanitas, “You shouldn’t be looking into darkness. It's a corrupt practice and you can’t be messing with it.”

Riku sighs even heavier, “Yeah, but there’s more to darkness that what’s bad. This is why I didn’t want to talk to you about this.”

Kairi steps forward, “Master Aqua, Riku has control over his darkness, you saw it while we were fighting at the graveyard.” Her hands reach forward to rest on one of Riku’s own, “He brought it up before we came today and I trust him to be careful. Please”

Vanitas turns to face Aqua just in time to see her conflicted expression before a hard look replaces it, “Alright, but you will do it under my strict supervision and my rules. Understand?”

Turning back he sees Riku nod and wonders why she was being so… difficult about this whole thing. Maybe it was because of him?

“Follow me, we will use the courtyard.”

The group follows this blue haired woman as she leads them outside, he’s a little surprised when Ventus sticks next to him instead of joining the other two at the front.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Vanitas nods.

“Where have you been going? You just sort of… disappear and we don’t see you for hours on end. At least until it’s time to eat.”

Lifting a hand, he gestures around himself and up.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.”

Trying to find a way to make the other stand he gestures slower, repeating the same action with a different face. It doesn’t work.

“Would you mind if I tag along after we’re done?”

Vanitas nods, that works too.

When they finally stop, their standing on a large stone area with weird colors on it. It’s pretty but he can’t remember the name.

“First, some rules.” Aqua turns to face them with a finger in the air, “One, you cannot hurt each other. Two, you will be kept inside of my protective barrier with me inside with you. Third, if I even begin to think that something is going wrong, I will stop it.”

Riku places his hands on his hips, “Um, Master Aqua?” She glances at him, “I don’t mean to interrupt but we aren’t exactly sparring or anything. It’s mostly just talking and maybe a demonstration to help us explain something better.”

She frowns deeply, “Darkness is a dangerous thing. We need to take precautions.”

Her side glance in his direction doesn’t go unnoticed.

The teen sighs before nodding his head, “Ok, but I promise no one is going to get hurt. At most we might get tired.”

Her shoulders relax slightly and her hand falls to her side, “Regardless, I will still be with you.”

Riku nods before looking to Vanitas, “Want to start?”

He nods his head and tries to think of where to begin while blue light circles them.

Riku summons his Keyblade and sits down a little ways away. That was a good place to start.

Following him, Vanitas sits down across from him and points to the Keyblade, he frowns at it to try and get his point across.

“My Keyblade? What about it?”

Reaching out his own gloves hand he tries to grab at the air to see if anything will happen. It doesn’t.

“Oh, you aren’t sure how to summon it?”

He shakes his head.

Riku holds it out to him, “Here, I think it would be easier if you could feel it.”

Vanitas grabs the handle and waits for something to happen, the moment Riku lets go, it disappears from his hand in a burst of light. The feeling it leaves behind is strange.

“That how it feels to summon a Keyblade but backwards. Instead of the weapon denying you, you’re trying to call it to your side. That feeling you have right now was my Keyblade denying you. Your own should accept you in a way this one won’t.”

Nodding, he tries to remember the feeling again. If he had to call it didn’t he have to speak? No. They called their blades without moving their mouths. Maybe it’s in his head?

He holds out his hand again to see if it will work but when nothing happens he tries not to be disappointed.

Riku holds out his Keyblade again, “Here, this time I’m going to let you borrow it. It should feel different than the first time.”

They repeat the process but this time it stays in his hand. The teen was right, it did feel different. He gives it back and tries to keep that feeling in mind while trying to call out to his Keyblade, maybe thinking of its name would help?

What was it again?

Forgotten Memory?

Memory Finder?

Memory Lost?

Lost Memories?

A flash of light forms in his hand as he grabs at thin air. The white Keyblade now resting in his hands warming him deep down.

“Good job! You remembered.”

Vanitas lets a small smile grace his features.

A muffled voice from outside the blue light has them turning their heads, “Hey, quick question.” Kairi is waving her hand, “I know we didn’t really know each other but that doesn’t look like your Keyblade from before. I only saw your other one a few times but I don’t remember it looking like that.”

Ventus frowns from where he is leaning on the blue light, “You’re right. Vanitas’s Keyblades name is Void Gear but that’s Lost Memories. It actually used to be mine.”

Naminé leans back so she can look at the other blonde, “It was yours? But I thought you couldn’t have the same Keyblade?”

Ventus smiles at her, “It’s possible to have more than one Keyblade, but it really just depends on your heart. Usually your Keyblade will evolve with you as you change as a person, whether that be in height or personality but it’s base should still be the same. The few times the Keyblade will change entirely is if the base is of the person changes.”

Riku nods, “So, since Vanitas lost all of his memories, you think he has this Keyblade because of that reason?”

Ventus shrugs, “It’s possible. I just think it’s strange that he has my Keyblade. Even if we are sort of the same person.”

“Maybe he needs it more…”

The group turns to look at Aqua as her soft voice speaks those words. Terra’s face twists in understanding while Ventus frowns slightly. Vanitas thinks the blonde is a little confused, his feelings are weird and mixed up inside him.

Riku shakes it off, “Well, no matter what it is, you summoned your Keyblade so let’s talk about how you work with darkness.”

Vanitas sets his Keyblade across his lap, placing a hand on it while holding up his other one. He thinks about the floods and watches as one of them forms in his hand, twitching slightly.

Riku tilts his head, “These things feel kind of like you. Is it part of you?”

He nods, even though he isn’t sure where these Unversed come from, he does know that they are him.

The teen holds out a hand, “Can I touch it?”

Vanitas nods and waits as a hesitant hand is placed on the Unversed. It twitches in and out of the touch, it’s movements slowing slightly as time passes. Riku makes a face before pulling his hand away, seeming to concentrate on his own hand.

“I don’t think I can do that one.”

Kairi speaks up again, “And why is that?”

Riku shrugs, “It just doesn’t feel like my kind of ability. I don’t think anyone else could do it really.” A pout makes itself known as he finishes.

Kairi laughs softly while Namine speaks, her voice harder to hear through the barrier, “Maybe it’s a power that comes from the same place that mine did?”

When she gets a few questioning glances she looks away, “The way I could change memories. I can’t do it anymore but when I could… is it sort of like that?”

Riku takes a moment to think before shaking his head, “I don’t think so. That was an ability learned as a nobody. The same way Lea could use fire and summon his weapons when he wasn’t a keyblade wielder. A power given after having your body taken.” He then gestures to the Unversed, “I think, in a way, Vanitas’s power is more like how we can summon our Keyblades. Something inside of his soul formed by magic.’

Ventus stands up straight, “His emotions.”

Riku nods, “Yes. If his emotions were the first strongest thing he felt and he didn’t know how to summon his Keyblade, then they would have manifested using his magic.”

Namine tilts her head, “So, it’s sort of like a mix of how Axel was then, and how he is now?”

Aqua gently cuts off their train of thought with a wave of her hand, “I know you guys are just trying to understand what you are seeing, but that’s not how any of that works.” They stare at her as she continues, “Vanitas is made up of pure darkness, there isn’t a single sign of a light in him. You can’t compare his abilities to Nobodies or Keyblade wielders because something like him has never existed before and should never have existed.”

Before the others and voice their obviously angry words, Terra places a hand on the blue light, “Aqua, everything we learned ten years ago is different now. There are new things we don’t understand, and discoveries that would have changed everything if we had learned them all those years ago. I know it’s hard to understand, believe me, I get it.” They make eye contact for a long moment, something quiet being passed with the heavy look, “But the worlds have moved on without us and all we can do now is catch up.”

The look lasts for a moment longer before the woman is heaving a heavy sigh, the blue light that had surrounded them dissipates, allowing the others to get closer.

Ventus sits next to Vanitas while watching his friends, “The only one who was around since day one, can’t remember any of it.” Now he looks at Vanitas, “So I guess all four of us need to catch up huh?”

Giving a nod, the unversed climbs out of his hand and zips it’s way over to the two older people standing a bit away from them. It hesitates before twitchingly touching both of their legs with its head, and then slipping back into the ground over to Namine, where it seems content to stand just next to her feet.

Aqua sighs before smiling, “Yes. I guess all four of us have to catch up.”

The smile on Ventus’s face is brighter than it has any right to be.


	9. Baby Steps

Vanitas spends a lot of time with Lea now. The taller man came often, with his friends in toe. Their interactions are usually the same.

“Hey, Vanitas! Remember anything new?”

He would shake his head.

“Did you forget anything?”

Again, a shake.

“Let’s pick up where left off then.” And they would have a lesson.

Sometimes, Roxas and Xion would join them, asking questions and participating in what they were learning. Others they would be off training. According to Lea, they were trying to become Keyblade masters.

Vanitas also spent a lot of time with Riku. The other teen was eager to learn, always comparing and trying to figure things out that didn’t make much sense to Vanitas but he tried anyway.

These were the biggest changes from his usual wandering routine and while he greatly appreciated it, he also missed exploring the castle.

At the moment, he sits across from both Lea and Riku while they try to have a lesson at the same time. They weren’t very good at it.

“So Vanitas, Darkness is one of those negative things we talked about earlier-“ The redhead is cut off by the smaller teen, “The Darkness isn’t all bad emotions you know?”

Roxas, who sits off to the side with a frown piped up, “If you know so much about it, why are you trying to get lessons from Vanitas?”

Xion gently elbows him but that doesn’t stop Kairi’s soft, “Why do you stick around?”

The two groups start fighting, their arguments slowly getting more heated. Vanitas rolls his eyes and ignores them, this wasn’t their first fight today and it won’t be the last. A shifting behind him and a soft tap to his lower back alert him to the presence of a flood.

Deciding he’s done for today, he slips into the ground, shifting through the shadows as he had been practicing till he finds a softer light a bit away from the rest. Stepping out of the shadows, he glances up to see Naminé staring at the group of arguing Keyblade wielders.

“Hey Vanitas.”

Stepping closer, he sits down in the shade and leans against the tree she’s huddled under.

“I see the lessons didn’t go so well?”

He shakes his head, he could understand what everyone said around him, but for some reason he couldn’t figure out how to talk. It was getting annoying.

“I’m sorry to see that. How have you been doing here?”

He looks at her blue eyes in question.

“I mean, are you getting along with everyone? Have you tried anything new?”

He frowns before holding his hands out as if he were touching a piano. He had been making that part of his morning routine.

“Oh, I didn’t know you could play.”

He nods, a small smile gracing his features.

“And what about Terra and Master Aqua?”

Vanitas hesitates for a moment before waving his hand.

“Middle ground then? Alright, I hope it gets better soon. It’s already been two weeks since we’ve all been back.”

Tilting his head, he tries to convey his confusion as the flood from earlier slithers into his lap.

“Are you asking about being home?”

A shake.

“The two weeks then?”

A nod.

“Axel must not have talked to you about time yet. See, a week is a form of measurement for time. Just like minutes, days, months and years. I’m still trying to wrap my head around them so I can’t tell you much but two weeks is fourteen days.”

He nods, that didn’t really make sense but if it was saying time was passing then he could accept that.

“How is learning to talk going?”

Vanitas feels his nose scrunch. Frustration forming into another twitchy flood.

“Not good?”

He shrugs, glaring at the flood that had formed for a moment before relaxing. Taking a chance he points to the blonde’s neck before pointing to his own.

“Me? How can I help?”

He repeats the action.

“Me, you… your voice?”

He nods.

“You want me to help you speak?”

He nods again.

Her frown is a sad one, “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I can help you. Everything I learned is from what Kairi already knew.” An idea seems to come to her, “Oh, but Aqua is a great teacher! Why don’t we go ask her?”

Debating the idea, he looks over to the group of arguing people and decides anything is better than that. He gives her a nod and follows her into the castle to look for the elusive master.

It takes them three doors before they find her, resting in a chair where she can see the group outside. Her face is pinched in concentration.

Naminé hesitates, “Master Aqua?”

The woman turns, startled before calming down, “Oh. Naminé, please, you don’t have to call me Master. I’m just Aqua. How can I help you?”

Vanitas steps out from behind the blonde, as expected the other deflated a little.

“I… we were wondering if you could help Vanitas learn how to talk?”

Aqua turns to face them fully, “Wasn’t Lea doing that?”

The blonde nods, “Well, yes, but we were hoping you could help since they haven’t really made any progress.”

Silence engulfs the room for a moment while shouts make their way through the thick glass. It must be getting pretty bad if they can hear it.

Aqua finally sighs with a nod. “I can try.”

Vanitas feels a smile pull at his lips when Naminé surges forward to hug the woman, “Thank you so much!” She turns back to face him, “She said yes! You can learn to speak now!”

The floods disappear and for once he doesn’t feel like pulling them back. Walking over slowly, he offers the blonde a smile. Not the small one he had learned is called a grin but a large toothy one. Her giggle as she lets go of the woman has his heart doing weird things.

“I’m going to go tell Kairi and the others! You should start now while their all distracted.” In the next instant, she is gone from the room. Like a whisper not meant to be heard.

The pair stand awkwardly for a moment before the woman sighs, “I guess I made a promise.” She gestures to a chair next to her, “Why don’t you sit down so we can talk?”

Taking the seat, he makes sure to linger on the happiness he felt with Naminé as he looks at Aqua.

“Let’s start with something simple. Do you know how talking works?”

He shakes his head.

“Well, talking,” She moves her hand to point at her neck, “Is when air passes through your vocal cords, creating vibrations that make sound. You can change how the vibrations sound by moving your mouth and tongue.” She points to her mouth, “All of this is done because of signals in your brain telling your body to do things.”

He nods, that sounded like how Lea described fighting.

“I think we should start with something simple but I’m not sure if you’ll like it.” Her grimace has him scrunching his nose, “I need you to try to scream.”

She holds up a hand, “Babies are born screaming and making noises when they cry. I… I know you can scream but I don’t know if you remember how to do it.”

Distantly he remembers being trapped in a small hallway, surrounded by unversed and the pain that had swallowed him whole. At that time he remembered screaming but if it was actually him, he didn’t know.

“I,” She pauses for a moment, words sticking in her mouth, “I apologize. At that time I acted before thinking, or even listening to Ven. I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.”

He shrugs his shoulder, he didn't know how to say how he was feeling. There were new feelings in his chest and he wasn’t sure if they were bad or good. He was just glad she was willing to talk to him after they had been avoiding each other for so long.

Aqua shakes her head, “I should probably do this when you have more of your memories back. Let’s get back to what we were doing.” She looks at him steadily this time, like how she looks at the Keyblade wielders during training, “Would you try screaming for me?”

He struggles for a moment, trying to remember how it felt at that time he was in pain. All it does is summon a Jellyshade.

She tries something else, “Here,” leaning forward she takes his hand and rests the back of his fingers over her neck, “I’m going to talk and I want you to feel what my vocal cords are doing.”

He turns his attention to his fingers.

“I’m going to start with humming and then open my mouth for a shout when you’re ready.”

Then she starts humming, her throat buzzes slightly. If he had to compare it to anything, it was like that time he hit a note on the piano and touched on of the vibrating cords. It wasn’t ticklish, just strange. Then she opens her mouth and the feeling gets more intense, still not ticklish, but easier to feel.

Vanitas pulls his hand away when she stops and places it on his own neck, trying to do the same thing. Nothing happens.

“Try coughing.”

Startled at her words, he looks into her blue eyes, so different from the blue he seems to be surrounded by and follows her advice. Now he feels the buzzing.

“Now, do that, but without stopping. Try making noise with your throat like you did for the cough.”

This process continues for the next hour, it’s a long and slow process, but by the end, he can scream effectively.

This however, led the others right to them. Ventus being the first to arrive.

“Is everything ok? I heard screaming.”

Aqua nods, “Sorry Ven, I was trying to teach Vanitas how to yell.”

His confusion is ignored when the others almost plow him over to get into the room, panic on all of their faces.

Lea is at the from, “Why is there screaming?!”

Aqua makes a calming gesture and tries to explain what was happening while Vanitas slips away to snag Ventus and drag him to the corner of the room.

The blonde staggers before finding his feet, “Woah, where are we going?”

Vanitas stops a good distance away from the others. The moment he had laid eyes on the blonde, something in his head seemed to click. Almost like how he felt when he saw Chirithy.

He tries to think about how the others name sounds. He wasn’t sure what was possessing him but he opened his mouth to try anyway.

“Vveeenn.”

The chattering stops, background noise disappearing in a puff of smoke, much like his Unversed. Ventus stares, his blue eyes wide in shock and awe.

“You spoke.”

Vanitas nods and tries again, “Veen.” That sounded more right than the first time.

The blonde suddenly whoops and throws his arms around him in a hug, cheering and laughing with unintelligible words falling out of his mouth. Vanitas feels himself smile at the light radiating off of the other, it was a good one.

“WAIT!” Ventus suddenly drops the other and looks at him again, “Can you say more or is that all?”

Tilting his head, Vanitas tries to think of how other things sound and how it would feel, he settles on something his mind whispers, “Venty Wenty!”

Aqua makes a choked noise from the other side of the room. Looking over at her Vanitas frowns, did he say something wrong?

Axel throws his hands up, “You can talk! That’s great!” He marches over and slings an arm around his shoulder, “Now say Lea.”

Ventus bursts into laughter while Roxas rolls his eyes, “He did the same thing to me.”

A warm feeling settles into his chest, a warmth he could see coming from the laughing blonde next to him. It wasn’t the end, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be honest. I love this fic and I have so many plans for it, but for some reason it’s not making me very happy.
> 
> So my new plan, though I will continue to write for it, is to go back and adjust the story little by little until I stop feeling pissed off everytime I look at it. I shouldn’t be making a lot of changes so you won’t need to go back and reread it but if you want to, go for it.


	10. Late night

Aqua had taken over teaching Vanitas how to talk. And even though he probably would never admit it, he was grateful. Aqua was incredibly helpful when it came to putting words together in a sentence. Lea had made a passing comment once saying he probably forgot how to speak in the literal sense because he knew most of his vocabulary already. Aqua agreed.

It wasn’t always the greatest, though. Sometimes she would get this look on her face that always spelt trouble. He’d come to recognize it as her ‘I don’t want to deal with you right now but I have to’ face. Whenever she makes that face, Vanitas knows enough to make his excuses and get out of there as soon as possible. Without raising suspicion, of course. 

One of his weaknesses, though, was time. Time…was difficult to learn. Hours, days, weeks, months, it didn’t matter. It all jumbled together in his head like a jigsaw puzzle. It didn’t bother him much, though. If he was correct, though, he’d spent 2 weeks practicing. 

And it had been a month since the Graveyard. 

He hadn’t seen much of Namine, since the day she helped him talk to Aqua but she was nice. Soft. He would compare her to the flowers outside that were nice to look at but not too distracting from everything around them. She could fit in basically anywhere she sat. Xion was nice too, but she always got this sad look on her face when they made eye contact, like she was remembering something that hurt but was happy to see him anyway.

His training with Riku was still under heavy watch by the other three in the castle. Ventus didn’t need to be there but he insisted upon staying for the whole thing every time. Terra would try to join in occasionally, trying to get a better understanding of the different darknesses they were looking at. Vanitas still didn’t understand how there was more than one but at least Riku could form solid masses of darkness now.

Overall, everyone had been visiting regularly, whether it was for him or for the others he wasn’t sure, but he saw them all a lot.

Now though, he’s with none of them. It’s the middle of the night, stars blink overhead and his Chirithy sits in his lap while his legs dangle off the edge of the platform. They’ve been enjoying the silence together.

“Hey Vanitas?” His creature pats his knee, trying to draw his attention. 

He keeps his eyes trained on the lights. “Hmm?”

“I was wondering…”

At the long pause, he looks down. Chirithy’s fiddling with her little pouch. She appears to be thinking about something. 

“Is something wrong?”

She jumps a little and turns to face him, “Not wrong. Just… curious. Do you remember me at all?”

Vanitas nods, “Of course I do. You’re Chirithy.”

The creature hums, “Yes, but before that?”

He takes a moment to think, he remembers Chirithy. They sat at the piano together and played music in the mornings, they walked all over the castle, she disappeared when anyone else was around. Chirithy’s always been there for him. His mind slowly goes fuzzy as he tries to think of more, Chirithy was always there. She never left, not like everyone else.

Chirithy pokes his cheek, “Hey now, don’t do that.”

The fuzz clears, “Don’t do what?”

The dark creature sighs, “That thing where you think too much.”

Vanitas smirks. “Think I’ll hurt myself?”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m just worried about you.”

Vanitas leans forward and hugs her to his chest, “Thanks.”

Chirithy pats him with her little arms, returning the hug, “Of course. You should try to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.”

He frowns, pulling back to look at her, “What’s tomorrow?”

She hugs her arms close, “Tomorrow you were going to show Riku that scary shadow that keeps chasing you.”

The reminder sends a shiver down his back, something dark had been chasing him when he was alone for too long. He had gone into detail about his encounter with Aqua in the hallway, as well as the shadow that chased him into the room with the rest of them. They had both been convinced it was just his head injury playing tricks on him.

Until it came back in the music room.

He had been playing a song he recognized but felt he was hearing for the first time, when something pricked his senses. It was different from the way the lights felt, or even the unversed, it wasn’t Chirithy because he could see the creature. Just as he tried to turn to look at it, he’d felt a deep surge of fear. Something so soul crushing he lunged for his companion and ran out of the room. But even after he had closed the door he could still feel it, closing in on him as if to block his path. He had run from the room, sprinting down the halls at such a fast pace he couldn’t see where he was going.

He had crashed head first into Terra, Chirithy disappearing from his arms a moment later. The fear had evaporated as well as the feeling of the shadows when he saw the taller male and his concerned face.

“Right. I forgot.”

Chirithy hugs him again, “Don’t worry. I’m sure Riku will be able to help you. He’s a master right? So he’s got to know something!”

He nods, “Yeah.”

Unease sets in then. Whatever kept coming for him only came when he was alone. Looking around now he realizes he is once again completely alone.

As if his thoughts had summoned the monster, he sees the shadows underneath him ripple and fear is the only thing that moves him before they can swallow him whole.

Chirithy makes a startled yelp at his movement, clinging tightly to his suit as he runs. Where, he doesn’t know, but away is good.

He can feel it nipping at his heels, wind brushing past the back of his neck when it misses his head. The only thing that makes it go away is other people, but it’s the middle of the night and no one is awake at night.

His mind reels at all the thoughts, overwhelmed at everything that could happen if he stops. It would consume him, drag him into a never ending pit of darkness and huRt And PaIn and it would never stop! It would never EnD!

Chirithy disappears from his arms when he rounds a corner, just in time for him to crash into a solid form of light.

The light shouts in alarm and possibly pain as they make contact with the floor. Relief instantly washes over Vanitas when he sees the blonde hair.

“Ow! Vanitas? What are you doing?”

He sags on top of Ventus, the fear and shadows from before having vanished from his senses.

The blonde grunts, “Ugh, don't put more weight on me, your squishing me!”

Vanitas doesn’t move, just lying as close as he can to the light inside the others heart while he tries to calm down.

“Hey, are you okay?” Worry is etched into his voice now, “Are you hurt?”

Slowly, he shakes his head.

The other wraps his arms loosely around his shoulders, “I don’t know what happened but you’re safe now.”

They stay like that on the floor for a few moments, trying to catch their breath and figure out what was going on.

“Feel like getting up now?”

Vanitas gives a deep sigh before lifting himself off of the other. Offering a hand once he’s sitting up.

Ventus takes it with a grateful smile and pulls himself into a cross legged position, “So, wanna tell me why you crashed into me at full speed?”

It takes a moment for him to find the right words, it had been difficult to tell Riku what was happening, “I was running.”

The blonde smiles, “I figured that much, but why?”

He debates not telling the other but the concern he can see in the others eyes, let alone feel in his heart, makes him reconsider, “Something was chasing me.”

Ven sits up straighter, his hand out like he wants to grab his Keyblade, “Where is it? Was it a heartless?”

Vanitas shakes his head, “No. I-I don’t think it’s real.”

Confusion twists his face, “Not real.”

“Yeah, it’s like… it’s some sort of shadow. It only chases me when I’m alone.”

Ventus moves closer, “Vani, has this been happening for a while?”

Said teen nods, “Yeah. It wasn’t so bad at first but now… it happens all the time. Riku wanted to see if we could investigate it but he doesn’t know how.”

The blonde looks around them with his ‘thinking’ look, nothing is around or near them but after a few seconds he nods his head, “Alright. Then there’s only one thing to do.” They make eye contact, “We’ll have to stick together!”

Vanitas feels his heart twist, a frown quickly overcoming his face at his displeasure before he can stop it, “That would be nice.”

Ventus tilts his head, “You don’t sound like you like the idea.”

The sudden splash of anger is washed away by the uncertainty in the others voice. He didn’t want to be alone, but being alone with Ventus was making him upset right now.

Vanitas finally breaks eye contact and glares at the floor, “Sorry. I’m… confused.” He’s said that a lot since he learned to talk.

The blonde stands, holding out a hand to help the other up before speaking, “It’s ok to be confused, when I first arrived I didn’t know anything either. I promised to help you and I’m not backing out this time.”

Hesitantly, he takes the others hand, getting off of the floor. The next words slip from his mouth, “You might regret that decision.”

They share a look of confusion at that.

“And why would I regret it?”

A shrug, “I’m… not sure.”

Ven’s Chirithy pops up next to them in a cloud of smoke, “There you are! I was looking all over for you.”

The blonde chuckles, “Sorry Chir. Wanna come with us back to Vanitas’s room? He said somethings been chasing him.”

The creature looks startled for a moment before holding its arms out, “Of course I would! Anything to keep you both safe.”

Ventus picks up the little creature before holding out a hand to Vanitas, “Lead the way?”

Hesitant, but eager to leave, he takes the others hand and guides him to his room. The one right across from Vens.


End file.
